Miscellaneous: Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was...

By Noname - 08/03/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 712

You deserved it 4 487

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Same thing different taste

By firethorn - 20/06/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 090

You deserved it 3 576

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 188

You deserved it 5 239

Not a geography major

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 22:45 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 10 927

By noname - 07/01/2009 11:43 - France

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 643

You deserved it 2 309

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 151

You deserved it 6 334

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 580

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 2 572

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 634

By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 199

You deserved it 8 838

By poppet2010 - 17/01/2010 15:58 - France

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 723

You deserved it 2 843

Yunie_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:21

Someone's in a hurry to get those great-grandchildren.

Emika_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:37

That's an awesome gift! Where can I buy one?

Comments

danny_ 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

RyanKaufman 7

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:35

Err no, not the hots. And OP shouldn't be so upset. My grandpa says dating is an abomination of God.

iMaGiNaTe 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:06

I'm wondering if there is a map just like this of single moms... hmm, my friends wouldike it :D

z620 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 3:42

hahahahaha sry but it's a little sad ur gramps is trying to hook u up

luluk854ever 0

Sunday 16 May 2010 17:32

u have an awesome grandpa. at least he cares enough to get u anything

zolltf 4

Monday 19 July 2010 1:23

66- poor you xD OP- don't worry, it was probably his.

Zazouuu_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:18

Humm... I'm not sure, but maybe he's trying to tell you something by giving you this...? :D

Yunie_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:21

Someone's in a hurry to get those great-grandchildren.

input_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:45

he knows you too well

Goose_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:55

What a brilliant grandfather!

Tehalon 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:02

Maybe he just wants grandchildren before he dies? :P

JenDanielle917 13

Thursday 21 July 2011 20:41

she IS his grandchild. he has grand children. you mean great grandchildren

Unidentified 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:27

Some sort of HINT perhaps?! :P

Emika_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:37

That's an awesome gift! Where can I buy one?

raptor_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:38

if you are a male, then your grandpa is hilarious.

llamingo 8

Tuesday 14 July 2015 18:58

Lol yeah but the icon is female

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:50

That's actually pretty cool

Keywords

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The Top

Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 84

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 279

You deserved it 12 112

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 947

You deserved it 3 763

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 2 898

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 628

You deserved it 5 510

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 835

You deserved it 2 698

Today, thanks to my ex-husband's misogyny, my son is now convinced girls are inherently weaker and that if he had to, he could beat any woman in a fight, even if she was a trained martial artist or a soldier, because, "Men are the stronger gender." I can kick both their asses, husband and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 263

Same thing different taste

Not a geography major

Brown and sticky

Lower your expectations

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