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By anonymous - / Thursday 18 July 2013 13:53 / United States - Woburn
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By  Welshite  |  39

I think you should approach him and ask him about his reasons for avoiding you. Don't assume it is because of your weight. You might be mistaken, and it could make you more insecure about your body.

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  TechFire  |  25

One of the best first comments I've seen on this site. I know a lot of people will get on OP's ass for "accepting" his weight, but I know from experience that accepting your weight can mean a lot of things, and that lacking self-confidence hinders weight loss far more than accepting yourself does. I accepted my weight, knowing that it does not make me a bad person, and getting over hating myself and worrying about what other people think is how I managed to get the drive to do it for myself, rather than to live up to a standard or to be accepted by others.

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  biggestfan23  |  11

Just a thought but being overweight carries a lot of health risks so shouldn't you try to lose weight to have the possibility of living longer

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  AestheticGuy  |  21

OP you deserve it for "accepting your weight", you say you have problems but then you apparently cant be bothered to follow the simple solution of expending more energy than you consume. Your brother is not 'genetically' ripped, he obviously is more active and eats better. If you have a problem with your body, do something about it, but dont complain if you get treated differently for being fat. People avoid and dont listen to obese people, thats how it is.

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  ygdrassil  |  17

I've come to the conclusion that some people like exercise more than others. I've always hated it, but other people say it makes them feel so good. But, OP, you'll have to suffer through it to be healthier. And I bet you're handsome just like your brother, you just don't realize it.

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  AestheticGuy  |  21

@112 Actually it is very simple, having studied fitness, nutrition, and exercise science, I can say that quite confidently. Its not bloody hard to not eat carbs and junkfood, and to go outside and run for half and hour a day. If you think thats hard then I'm surprised you've made it through life this far. And @116 exercise scientifically makes everybody feel good, it releases endorphins, which work as an anti-depressant. If you are depressed and go to see a psychiatrist, the first thing they will prescribe, literally prescribe, is too exercise for a good amount every day and to eat healthy (so theres no hormones, msg, going to your head). SO really exercise is a better comfort than crap food could ever be, and its good for you.

By  Welshite  |  39

I think you should approach him and ask him about his reasons for avoiding you. Don't assume it is because of your weight. You might be mistaken, and it could make you more insecure about your body.

By  MissVeracity  |  12

As long as your happy with how you look and how you are, that's all that matters.

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  CallMeMcFeelii  |  13

I agree with this to an extent. You need to love yourself no matter what kind of shape you're in. I just don't understand how some people who need to lose the weight don't even try to. There are some people with certain disabilities that exclude them from that group, but most people can make a change. They're just too lazy to try. I have absolutely no pity for those people.

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  MissVeracity  |  12

Ah, I just realised I said your instead of you're, apologies. And yes, I agree with both of you, that some people complain about their weight and don't do anything about it, which is why I said if you're HAPPY with yourself and genuinely accept yourself, that's all that matters. Usually, people that are massively overweight are not happy, and it is often this unhappiness within themselves, creating a vicious cycle of eating and guilt because of the over-eating that is almost impossible to overcome, hence the weight gain continues. However, we have no idea about OP's circumstances and the fact that OP stated that he/she (sorry can't tell on the phone app) is starting to accept their weight is a good sign and should be encouraged by family and friends, if not it shouldn't matter because YOU are the only person that can change yourself or not, if that's what you want to do. Lastly, sorry for the ridiculously long reply :)

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  cosicosei  |  22

I'm gonna go on a whim here and say that being happy with oneself is not really all that matters. Your health matters, and as long as there are taxpayers paying for your health-care when you get diabetes or heart diseases (canada only) then it certainly matters. Not only that but if you have a family, being overweight and being happy isn't all that matters. You have to be there for your kids, your health affects others.

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  Raesin  |  21

The UK has the NHS too. OP might just be a little overweight which is nothing major to worry about, but yea, being morbidly obese puts your health at severe risk and it effects everyone around you who cares about you.

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  cosicosei  |  22

Exactly, I'm not sure how fat OP is but there's a possibility it's not too good for their health. And yeah there are many other countries that have it, I was just speaking for my own haha :)

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  CallMeMcFeelii  |  13

It almost reminds of me of Cartman on South Park, getting real fat just to ride his rascal around haha. I just believe everyone can better themselves, be it mind or body. And for me personally, I enjoy seeing self improvements. It's an ego boost, and you have a healthy self esteem. Some people are just cocky though.

By  xInwex  |  12

He's an complete jerk and obviously has some major problems. Hold your head high, you don't need his approval!

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  AculyAmber  |  12

I don't like this. Just because he expressed his opinion; he's an asshole? That's just what he thinks, and if he chose to tell someone in private, I see absolutely no problem with it.

By  stolencookie  |  17

Your brother is a douche. Blood is blood. If appearances can harm the relationship between brothers, he is worse than shallow.

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  stolencookie  |  17

Sad, but true. Ive just never heard of siblings shitty enough to let appearances decide the relationship health. Personalities conflict all the time, but OP's brother is just the worst kind of person.

By  stuner56  |  22

If your brother is shallow and rude, you don't need to talk to him.

By  slimkelsey  |  17

You should punch your douche bag brother in the neck. Give him a real reason to be nervous around you.

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  mcmarrow  |  5

You can't be in good health and be fat. Love who you are but strive to be strong and healthy. Your kids will be better off and you will have more energy throughout the day.

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  marcranger  |  28

A long-term study published a few years ago showed that the people who live longest are either average weight or slightly overweight, meaning they tended to be healthier than people who were super skinny, obese, and even slightly underweight. So yes, it is possible to be chubby and healthy.

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  mangoboy1  |  19

I know a guy that's into powerlifting, Olympic lifting, football, benches 220 I think and runs a 6:30 mile and he's actually slightly overweight just because he eats like a beast. It's the people who are fat because they're lazy and have no muscle that are unhealthy.

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  Wowxoxo  |  17

46, can you name the study so I can further inspect it for confounds? Also, you mentioned "average weight" which = healthy people anyways and you know how as we age we tend to put on a few pounds which can probably encompass your "slightly" overweight category. Muscle does weight more than fat so weight is not necessarily the best was to define fitness.

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  Raesin  |  21

Slightly overweight people can be healthier and live longer because they have more body fat. If they become ill, their body has more resources so it can focus on mending itself and if it's a prolonged illness it can last longer. More body fat = longer to starve. Average or slightly underweight people, if they get ill, don't have those extra resources and so become malnourished and deteriorate much faster. Their bodies don't have the extra reserves to pull the energy from and thus, pulls it from bones/muscle/organs. According to the study 'chubby' people can live about 5 years longer than 'skinny' people. Just google 'chubby people live longer' and the first two links are separate studies that indicate the same thing.

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  AestheticGuy  |  21

Having studied, fitness, nutrition, anatomy, and exercise, that is all bullshit. Fat is never healthy, it is fat. And it is not just distributed on the outside, its also all over the organs. The more fat you have on the outside, the more fat you have covering your organs, and in your arteries. So saying you can be fat and healthy is completely wrong.

By  AirborneCleric  |  12

Yes, being ripped or being overweight is exclusively reliant on genetics. *facepalm* Take control of your own life and lose some weight. If you are (somehow) perfectly okay with being overweight, find some way to resolve things with your brother.

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  SSTRNK  |  6

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure this guy meant it seems like op is just lazy. My brother and I look the same other than the fact that I'm skinny and he's ripped. I don't 'accept' that I'm just a skinny person, I go to the gym so I can fix it.

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  Batterypost  |  23

Liking that you are fat is like liking the side effects of meth abuse. Seriously, too much food is way worse for your health than a lot of drugs. Being fat is not something that should be encouraged or even accepted just because a lot of people are.

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67- I was never encouraging it. I'm just saying some people are actually comfortable with how they look. They have curves, and that's great for them. But people like you have to ruin their self image. People are the most beautiful when they love themselves.

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