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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

#12908327
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9619) - you deserved it (33105)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by jentea (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

#12906050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (8606)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

#12903191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (15803)

On 09/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (13604)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

#12899582
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29444) - you deserved it (3146)

On 09/04/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (32572)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

#12897093
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (3350)

On 09/04/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by Black Cat 13 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

#12895675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (7731)

On 09/04/2010 at 1:15am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (6660)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43983) - you deserved it (7017)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41237) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (2633)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (3297)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -



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