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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (3839)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML

#12879741
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (6489)

On 09/03/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (4878)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

#12878777
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11446) - you deserved it (76016)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by ohseven6421 - United States (California)

_mystique_'s comment : YDI FOR NOT LISTENING!!!

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25197) - you deserved it (7032)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (4252)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

#12874648
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you deserved it (37674)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

#12874218
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

#12872328
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (13913)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (3408)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

#12870608
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (2106)

On 09/02/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by whatthewoah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

#12870338
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (3728)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13488) - you deserved it (57728)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)



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