Love: Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at...

By ShamedJP - 03/04/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 242

You deserved it 86 511

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:40 - United States

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 157

You deserved it 7 377

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 12:07

Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 3 535

By apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 042

You deserved it 7 444

By babbling idiot - 14/08/2015 09:35 - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 469

You deserved it 9 661

By Jennnn - 16/09/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 813

You deserved it 57 247

By Anonymous - 26/03/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 852

You deserved it 17 389

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 812

You deserved it 19 216

My eyes are up here

By LonelyCashier - 11/07/2019 20:00

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 213

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 253

You deserved it 2 250

Hello, I love you

By Anonymous - 13/04/2020 05:00

Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 346

Pixiewolfe 46

Friday 2 June 2017 19:27

I think it may be HOW you said it rather then WHAT you said in this case...o>O

Comments

Pixiewolfe 46

Friday 2 June 2017 19:27

I think it may be HOW you said it rather then WHAT you said in this case...o>O

sadboy1989 13

Friday 4 August 2017 15:02

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Today, I was talking with a friend and casually mentioned how close I live to a train station. She said that since we’re both about a day away from NYC, we should meet up there and have a girls trip. I thought it was an awesome idea. When I mentioned it to my fiancé, he freaked about money. The date isn’t even set yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 116

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 242

You deserved it 499

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 122

You deserved it 5 876

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 313

You deserved it 4 332

Today, my son broke up with his fourth girlfriend in a row, because, “all of them get those period things and it’s annoying as fuck.” He’s 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 562

Today, after eight years of estrangement, I finally heard from my mother. Not that she contacted me, I just saw her in an YouTube video, in which batshit people in red hats and draped in flags were being interviewed during the "hogs gone wild" shitshow down in Florida, protesting about the FBI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 195

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie, telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 480

You deserved it 3 679

Same thing different taste

My eyes are up here

Hello, I love you

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