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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44152) - you deserved it (7042)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (3297)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

#12887951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (2527)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (38566)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

#12887247
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (5923)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by Fmylife.25 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

#12887045
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (7966)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Sexylarry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

#12881965
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (7386)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:30am - love - by lonleystoner91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

#12880728
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (29985)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (3840)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)



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