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Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39811) - you deserved it (18339)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35139) - you deserved it (3428)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2703)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

#7053849
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (4613)

On 12/31/2009 at 8:28am - animals - by brokenrainbow. (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

#7053396
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9401) - you deserved it (28530)

On 12/31/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

#7052251
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (34523)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by ParanoidFreak (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (58564)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

AGGoddess's comment : Did anyone else provide backup vocals?

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Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

#7050852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (5139)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:01am - love - by 12345678 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (10144)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (3705)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

#7047511
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (4478)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous. - United States

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy starts talking to me, then suddenly loses interest. Afterwards, I see the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

#7047006
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (19238)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lame (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (31491)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)



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