Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (6302)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by bertthelamb (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56981) - you deserved it (4067)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (9283)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7807) - you deserved it (32308)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42540) - you deserved it (9697)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (22870)
On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I made a couple videos of me playing guitar and singing some of my favorite songs. I arrived back from school to find my family huddled around the cam-corder laughing, imitating, and making jokes about the video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (6797)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by SADlilAZN (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my grandmother told me that not only does she not accept me as a homosexual man, but that she feels my relationship with a little person is "spitting in God's face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (9767)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:34pm - love - by iamatthewroberts (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177836) - you deserved it (61440)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, at physical therapy the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said "hey sweet ipod". She said, "actually i have diabetes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7653) - you deserved it (29199)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (4273)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (4388)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:26pm - health - by Loot (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (49874)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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↑ Seegtease's comment : That kid needs some old-fashioned discipline. 5? Are you kidding me?
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