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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

#5480779
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7053) - you deserved it (56341)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by veggocake (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

#5480750
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (5714)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:00am - misc - by vcarder - United Kingdom

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response: "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

#5480161
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33977) - you deserved it (5582)

On 09/26/2009 at 3:01am - work - by zawbentley - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#5479832
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4639) - you deserved it (66941)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by scarlet5000 (man) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

#5479094
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15291) - you deserved it (60724)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

allmidnighteyes's comment : On your first date, did you rub her belly and say, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed"?

See all the comments →

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18126) - you deserved it (33537)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (17213)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (3093)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML

#5471133
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13484) - you deserved it (30842)

On 09/25/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

#5470398
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8945) - you deserved it (48396)

On 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by MyLyfeSux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML

#5468497
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38048) - you deserved it (2775)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)



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