Love: Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital... - FML

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 356

You deserved it 10 374

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 18/02/2013 01:28 - United States - Middletown

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 179

You deserved it 3 047

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 2 578

By kicking me while I'm LITERALLY down - 07/11/2017 05:00

Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 612

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 20:47 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 999

You deserved it 32 261

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 454

You deserved it 96 688

By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00

Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 817

By wwasmer - 27/02/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 867

You deserved it 16 925

By nolips - 19/11/2009 15:53 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 048

You deserved it 3 157

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 122

You deserved it 4 152

Thanks, guys

By Sophie - 27/12/2011 04:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 2 474

Next

Top comments

cinnamania 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

Oh, wow. She's lovely.

Luckster 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:59

Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!

Comments

cinnamania 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

Oh, wow. She's lovely.

KiSsKiZzy 0

Monday 31 August 2009 0:27

That is ******* funny!!! Lmao!

michael32123 0

Monday 8 February 2010 6:35

it's cause she's the woman in the relationship. we tell them what to do and hopefully they never leave the kitchen where they are supposed to be

mrstomkaulitz 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 5:40

stop telling her what to do you selfish bastard!!! jkjkjk lol

toqwert 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 16:32

Bitch alert! Bitch alert! Bitch alert! Initiating dump procedure... No but seriously, give up she's not worth it.

Jezlovespink 5

Thursday 9 February 2012 5:17

Thats y op u dont cry wolf....ddnt u learn that wen u were little??? Get it

Futt_Buck 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

what a relationship...

DarkPrince_fml 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 0:29

run her over and drive away and if she moans heelllpppp then you say fk you don't tell me what to do spit on her and drive away

tuxedoandex 28

Monday 22 December 2014 19:01

are you ok

minorixxxx 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Whoa, harsh dude. That's just messed up.

thunder24 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Wow dump that girl! She obviously doesn't care about u to much. Sorry bro

ThotBoutTheGame 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:55

are you sure she heard the part about you being in the hospital?

eastsidehippie 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:56

Wrong time of the month dude.

Just94 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:56

She must have had a reason to say that. DO you always tell her what to do?

ASatanistHobo 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:56

Dump that bitch

Luckster 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:59

Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!

laurieloulou 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 6:48

Maybe he is a bit rude to begin with to cause her to say that.

cp399 14

Wednesday 11 March 2015 4:29

That's like saying that rapists make you ashamed to have sex. I don't see how her being a woman has anything to do with it.

asxp10 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:00

What a bitch. Why do you date her?

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The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 117

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, my ex sent me a string of abusive texts about forgetting our daughter's birthday. I have no idea when her birthday is because she left me while pregnant and never told me the date, plus she is 3 and I’ve never met her because the police can’t find where they live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 131

Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 680

You deserved it 477

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 027

You deserved it 5 431

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 577

You deserved it 4 349

Today, my friend casually asked if she could “gift” me to her husband for his birthday threesome. I told her she was being rude, and made me feel cheap and objectified. She scoffed and said, "What’s the big deal? Aren’t all you bi chicks into that anyway?” No. No I’m not. So much for friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 354

Today, I had to bring my youngest (a 3 year-old) with me to my therapist's, due to not having childcare. After waiting 10 minutes, the receptionist called me up to the desk to inform me that my therapist wouldn’t be seeing me, because of my child being there. Nothing like wasting an hour of my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 682