Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

#5658731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40322) - you deserved it (1928)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

#5658558
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8403) - you deserved it (34218)

On 10/05/2009 at 6:49am - work - by Me (woman) - Kuwait

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33391) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from work to my basement flooding. With sewage. That wasn't from our house. FML

#5656248
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (1667)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by razzipost1 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML

#5656241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37048) - you deserved it (3321)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Bento (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11496) - you deserved it (37706)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (35427)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

#5653425
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (13278)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anstice (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

#5652102
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28979) - you deserved it (5697)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:19pm - animals - by FellingShitty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (30091)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7967) - you deserved it (52062)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (44691)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (3342)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: