Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11676) - you deserved it (55235)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62912) - you deserved it (19442)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (24073)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (9940)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)
Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (78849)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50520) - you deserved it (2016)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. I have two older sisters graduated. The first one got a Tiffanys bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59670) - you deserved it (2343)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77233) - you deserved it (20709)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51623) - you deserved it (14630)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML
I agree, your life sucks (13827) - you deserved it (53681)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61422) - you deserved it (2174)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58163) - you deserved it (2024)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74705) - you deserved it (21206)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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