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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (9808)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (2026)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a crowded el train listening to my iPod touch. As I stepped off the train, my headphones got caught on a man's jacket and my iPod fell on the floor. The doors shut. I then watched the train pull away. With my iPod on it. FML

#8726877
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (3726)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:34pm - money - by rybread (man) - United States

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (17557)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML

#8725827
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (1586)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (55751)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

#8719184
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20439) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by AtikaSucks (woman) - Tunisia

Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML

#8719119
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7793) - you deserved it (29389)

On 02/28/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by apple (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

#8716792
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (21384)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by maddy - United States (Washington)

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

#8716730
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (7714)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm - animals - by Man vs. Spider - United States

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (2538)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

#8714094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30032) - you deserved it (5988)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:26am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

#8713665
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (2088)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)



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