Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (12629)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I chose a cute tank top and some shorts to wear. Later, I was shopping at Target with my dad when he pointed to a girl in the same isle and said to me, "Don't ever dress like that. It looks cute on her, but you couldn't pull it off." She was wearing shorts and a tank top. FML

#9124871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25382) - you deserved it (4128)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Stella Grubner -

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25365) - you deserved it (3326)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

#9122950
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14091) - you deserved it (25095)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by LonelyBoy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (4084)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Jackiess22's comment : Shit

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Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15753) - you deserved it (40143)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you deserved it (38454)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (7047)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

#9111190
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (25253)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43112) - you deserved it (8741)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

#9105957
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6827) - you deserved it (27655)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:12pm - misc - by katharine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39271) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11255) - you deserved it (21047)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland



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