pinkandpurple590

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Pinkandpurple590's favorite FMLs

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

agreeclassic 69 215

vote type 1 6 192

By mightymart - 24/07/2012 10:26 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

agreeclassic 24 501

vote type 1 1 902

mightymart app_comment_confession_title

mightymart 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 1:15

I would have stayed awake if she would have called before, not like it happens often

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

agreeclassic 31 514

vote type 1 12 610

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 20:45 - United States - Clay City

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

agreeclassic 7 846

vote type 1 60 827

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 08:08 - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

agreeclassic 38 363

vote type 1 3 799