Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML
Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML
Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML
Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML
Today, my teenage daughter got her driver’s license. Less than an hour later she wrecked my wife’s new minivan. FML
Today, my daughter called me panicking that her car died in the middle of the road. I had to FaceTime her to talk her through calling a tow truck. Turns out she ignored the warning lights telling her that the tank was low and drove it until the tank was empty. I had to pay for that, plus the tow fees. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
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Top comments
omfg_creepers 8
You should have made her push the car with yourself in it 36 miles backwards.
Kitastropheee 12
If she has a job, make her pay for the gas she wasted!
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Comments (178)
omfg_creepers 8
You should have made her push the car with yourself in it 36 miles backwards.
shayshayshazam 14
But then they would have been 4 miles the wrong way!!!
GuitarzanNation 0
Then add an extra mile for every picture she took lol
omfg_creepers 8
19 - Yes but a little extra wouldn't hurt
GovernorGeneral 8
(1)-I LOVE SPROOOOO - hearts. Hearts everywhere-
Mideoyeo 12
I actually don't know whats so great about instagram...you can take pictures and edit them on the computer as well.
SuperKnuckels 6
I remember long time ago that there was this big peice of paper with words on it so you dont get lost , oh wait its a map. plus now adays cars have built in gps.
dead247 13
Not all cars have built in gps or have money for a built in gps package. Most people do have smart phones and have some form of gps app.
doctorhook86 25
OP's daughter is an irresponsible idiot.
shutyourmouth12Z 7
I think she's responsible for making sure he has new followers
zinoxity 23
The question is... Why did OP even have instagram on their phone anyway??
Daftendirekt1 0
Well it's handy to have to take and do simple edits of photos on the go. And you never know - OP could be a hipster.
Michellec9982 18
Teenagers these days....
antmanzero 8
People these days...
cmdjdjskajgnxksl 0
instagram is the shit so STFU ! -.-
antmanzero 8
Wow 8, chill
cmdjdjskajgnxksl 0
Yea dislike my comments bitches :D
GovernorGeneral 8
Bitch please. I am the shit.
22cute 17
41- There's no way you can blame a parent for The Great Teenage Cellphone Addiction. Its bigger than all of us!
GothicAngel17 24
2 - You seem to be forgetting that you're thirteen years old.
Killer_fel 15
You know 43, I am a teenage guy. I am addicted to my Ipod, but not all of us teenagers act like b*tches. It's not the mother's fault, for she trusted her child.
_Oblivion_ 12
Stereotyping these days...
Steelersman 9
seriously, please stop stereotyping all teenagers, we're not all stupid annoying people
cartooncharacter 9
...
efemel94 7
I constantly hear shit about the teenage generation, but let's not forget the generation that created all these things like mobile phones etc. what is so ironic is they are usually the generation that bitches about it. It's not out fault we were born in this technological age!
shazza26 1
Not all teenagers are like this
22cute 17
People, people- EVERY generation of teens hears stuff like this AND when you are in you're 40's you'll want to gripe about some new teen phenomenon. Besides, I didn't generalize. I didn't say teens these days are addicted...I said there is a phone addiction. I'm sure no one in present company is part of that movement. But I promise you it is out there. I teach high school, OMG the texting!
SobrietyKills 14
Hey hey hey... I'm a teenager and I believe instagram is just an idiotic collection of filters. Please don't associate me with the other fools my age :c
kims0706 10
You know not all teenagers are this bad. And just because the teenagers misbehaving doesn't mean it's the parents fault, you can't just keep blaming the past generation for your own faults. Take the freakin responsibility for your actions do we can change our generations bad reputation, and make sure we don't all end up like OPs daughter.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
There were always stupid and annoying teenagers.
MeLikesDigBicks 5
Instagram IS pretty addicting...
GovernorGeneral 8
I used to have that app before it got famous. But i deleted it before that happened cause i thought it sucked. It wasnt addicting for even one second... Get off the ******* bandwagon.
shutyourmouth12Z 7
I kind of agree
heytrollhey 12
It can be addicting but this isn't the case, she could've read a little piece of information that would've saved them 32 miles worth of gas.
stephissilly 18
instagram is so addicting! follow me, stephissilly
dead247 13
Would have saved the daughter a hour, give or take, sitting in a car being what seemed to be bored.
ScaughtieHolden 11
I had Instagram before the people who have no photography skills and only post quotes got there. It used to be a great app.
pokemonchick14 12
It's not necessarily just being "on a ******* bandwagon" to find it addicting. I'll get down voted, but I really like the app.
fgwrxfiend 11
No its not..instagram is shit and a compete waste of time,but then again what social networking site isn't?? Procrastinating as we speak -__-
danif9 2
Hipsters..
trahelion 0
Ahhh, instagram. A haven of artists. I jest, it's full of MySpace-esque mirror shots with generic filters.
vishus 2
Lame ass hipsters....
Trainwizard 1
Instragram is a troll app that turns cell phones into the poor man's SLR. I have no need for it. And I'm not too fond of it's watermark. It hurts my eyes. Lol.
kaileylovesyew 4
106- i agree with u 100%
fantasyworld 39
I have one but I rarely post. I don't get those who have a really big addiction.
jkmartinjk 16
Invest in a GPS! Oh made a rhythm in no time... Wow I'm a poet and I didn't know it. Couldn't resist :( Sorry though OP.
BountyBass 13
Why do u have to rhyme All the time?
MagicGiraffe 12
That doesn't exactly rhyme..
Melissa92_fml 13
Not every sentence rhymes... Rhythm doesn't rhyme with time.
Meettitan 14
52 I believe he ment rhyme not rhythm -- as rhyme does rhyme. that is all.
fuzz97 23
I read this comment And thought with a frown "It's rather inane So it gets a thumbs down."
GothicAngel17 24
^Winning.
RaggleFrock 13
62 you used the incorrect "your" in one of your comments...so get back under your bridge.
_Oblivion_ 12
Ya'know that when you sometimes find a word that's spelled wierd, type it wrong in google and it shows a list of simular words including that word you want. Might want to try that for a while.
GovernorGeneral 8
You too 104.
Melissa92_fml 13
I know they meant 'rhyme,' I was being pedantic, sorry. /:
jkmartinjk 16
Oh I see now. Rhythm. Rhyme. Ah I always get confused. There are not too many words with 'Rh' ... Except rhinoceros, rhinitis, and that's all I know.
kellandj2019 7
#154, what about rhetoric?
kims0706 10
Invest is your breast and buy new underwears! -Double Divas
MyaaBayyBee 6
Sorry OP , Next time you could pull over and just turn your GPS on your phone .
RBntM 10
Don't blame her. You lose track of time when you use instagram.
brackaman 18
I think her mother is quite right to blame her for not doing what she said and sending them over 30 miles in the wrong direction. Gas is expensive and time is non renewable. Is it ok too for those people who neglect their family responsibilities because they're playing lol or wow?
zoev7 1
How the **** can you not blame the daughter?
shayshayshazam 14
Get an android!! It reads the directions out to ya! But FYL, gas is wayyyy expensive! Teach her a lesson, make her fill up your tank!
Kitastropheee 12
iPhone's say the directions out loud too.
gmc_blossom 21
Just another reason Androids are so much better, eh? Lol, no. It's all a matter of personal preference and some of us prefer iPhones. Just saying, don't think getting an Android will make everything better.
shayshayshazam 14
32- haha I didn't realize they did that! And no, I don't necessarily think Androids are better :) I just thought if that was something OP could use then Android won out. But I didn't know some iPhones read them out too lol. My in-phone GPS is actually a feature I fell in love with lol and my cousin has an older iPhone that doesn't read em out, so I didn't realize some did, that's all. :)
dead247 13
Make her get a job. Depending on age and if she already has one. I hear selling your child for cheap labor is a lucrative business.
bjf10 22
Android phones are vastly better, since you don't have to pay the Apple Stupidity Tax. iCrap = overpriced fashion accessories. Get a real phone.
klovemachine 24
OP's daughter needs to learn how to listen. I hope the OP can think of a suitable punishment.
Kitastropheee 12
If she has a job, make her pay for the gas she wasted!
thesubconscious 9
Even if she doesn't!
shayshayshazam 14
Why does my comment like this get thumbed down lol? People on FML hate me. FML
Lilwolfyyy 0
82- Girls get the upper advantage.
GuitarzanNation 0
Sounds like someone has a little bit of a self indulgence issue XD