Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
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Top comments
soccerkrzy 0
Please be dirt....and not poo...
dmmd8686 0
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...anyone who says YDI is foolish
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Comments (173)
soccerkrzy 0
Please be dirt....and not poo...
gomego87 0
YDI for eating poo. ew. *shivers*
Link5794 18
She deserves to eat poo that she already ate because she ate it? It wasn't even her fault you ******* tool.
newguy12 0
time to get new cookware
joeyisinsane 0
at least she knows she's supposed to be in the kitchen at such a young age
MrsDruidess 23
time to take parenting classes!! who the hell leaves a two year old alone in the KITCHEN that long?? OP YDI
dmmd8686 0
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...anyone who says YDI is foolish
juicylover8 0
what's YDI stand for??
DemonicFatty 2
it means you deserve it. and she doesn't deserve it.
BRBICECREAMTRUCK 0
yummy
spoo 24
yeah id pinch myself hoping to wake up
genius_man16 1
YDI for having children
spoo 24
whos the jack a who goes and clicks YDI for every dang FML.... #6... something is wrong with you, seriously wrong
antar_fml 0
Actually every parent deserves these little things .... she'd laugh about it herself when she recalls it later .
mimerino 9
I don't think so.
smiley_girl 0
EW what was it, hopefully not poo, I"m hoping dirt? after a few incedents of this type of thing myself I don't eat things kids "make" or let their hands be anywhere near my face. (babysitter)
maggy_fml 0
YDI for saying "today" and "fml". have you noticed all the fml's recently saying that? xD just kidding FYL indeed!!!
clairesucks 37
Please don't become a comedian as a carer. You'd do dreadfully
Laci_Laine 0
Fyl indeed! Kids do the darndest things!