Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML
Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, I went to dinner with friends for my birthday. During the whole thing they insisted that we get whatever we wanted and celebrate, but when the check came, they all looked at me expectantly. I just bought my friends $150 of food for my birthday present. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said, "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML
Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML
Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
Today, it was my best friend's birthday party. Her boyfriend and I agreed to organize a dinner date to surprise her and celebrate. They celebrated, but forgot me until they arrived at the restaurant and saw the dinner reservation under my name. FML
Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML
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Top comments
randomnameflob 0
That's pretty pathetic.
missunderstanded 5
awe. ill be your friend op :)
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Comments (159)
randomnameflob 0
That's pretty pathetic.
biggestfan23 11
If you have to pay someone to act as a friend, you're not doing something right
DooleyFTW 17
I find it very very hard to believe that someone could not have even one single friend. I've never met anybody in the course of my life who didn't even have one person who they could call a friend.
iStrukk 7
You get first comment and THIS is what you do with it?! What is this world coming to.
ManInTheMachine 20
People talk about first comment like it's a privilege handed down from heaven above. I agree they should either be funny or well thought out, but if it isn't someone saying "First!!!!!1!1!" or something equally stupid, then just move on. It's just one comment out of the potential 150+ under an FML.
iStrukk 7
34-Someone is getting civil up in here. It was a joke. A sploof. A laugh. A giggle. A hehe-moment. Just like Obama saying he is American. Edit: Just so you know, I thumbs'd your comment, it was helpful to explain what I meant in my first post.
Irishgypsy 2
Obama is American?? Well shit
ManInTheMachine 20
36-Fair enough. But my point still stands. I wasn't angry, just making a statement.
_Oblivion_ 12
American by ethnicity and ****** stupid by presidential office.
theslimshadylp 6
Yah I agree. Be confident and make some friends
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Solo ftw
Chingy892987 14
#26 I don't have any friends (everyone tends to avoid me for some reason o_O)
_Oblivion_ 12
A simple hey wuts up or yo gets the job done
PenguinSwag47 0
Should've just politely rejected the offer to bring a friend instead of showing your parents how desperate you really are.
doctorhook86 25
OP: just talk to people you see every day. Listen to what they say to you and don't be a jerk to them--you'll have friends in no time!
mimi_animee 18
26- actually this girl in my elementary school (well middle school) didn't have any friends. She would stay inside all the time helping teachers during recess. It's only when we got to high school that she finally made a friend.
xswtnsour13 0
I'm one of them,do believe it -_-
colliebuddz420 7
I've met one person without a single friend but only because he's an asshole and doesn't talk to anyone without insulting them
JustDerpin 11
61, your profile says you're shy. I don't think people are avoiding you.
In_some_bullshit 13
91- the teachers were her friends. ((Not in an inappropriate way!!))
Bad_LuckBrian 9
She might be anti-social. Either way, that really sucks that you don't have friends, OP. If theres someone that is willing to talk to you, try to become their friend! But paying people to be your friend is truly pathetic.
ricardo12458 7
For years, I was *that* guy. Never had so much as an acquaintance in primary school. My social life is more or less normal now that I'm in high school, though I don't keep in touch with my friends simply because I live in Grand Prairie [area code 214] and most of my friends live in Arlington/Fort Worth [area code 817]. [My Long Distance plan is a killer. Don't ask why.] -R
Proughboy 7
I agree. There's no way somebody could have zero friends unless they were actually trying to not have friends.
yeanoshit 7
Make some friends OP
MURIKKA 11
Back to the Big Bang Theory with you OP! Big Bang Theory fans, please don't hurt me!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I'll supply the play-doh!
crazydudefrom90s 10
Love your dp
smlrockslol 4
Haha that sucks for you maybe you could have said you just wanted to spend your birthday with your parents.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
One does not simply.... O wait, yes one does simply just make friends. Get out there OP!
BVBarmyForever 0
17- what the hell is that supposed to mean?!
missunderstanded 5
awe. ill be your friend op :)
perdix 31
Do you really want to be friends with someone who can't get someone else to see a free movie with them? The parents would have sprung for popcorn, snacks and drinks, so you could sit one seat away from the loser OP (using the seat between you to lay out your feast.) I hope you reconsider your offer.
maybeBabe 8
Me too! :)
ygdrassil 17
One of Perdix's comments has been buried? A sure sign of the apocalypse.
perdix 31
#3 and #27, why don't you really reach out to the OP and befriend her? Otherwise, I think you are a couple of fakes who want to appear nice and sympathetic in front of the FML crowd. I'll bet the OP is a tedious bore, or a foul-tempered harpy. Let me know what you find out after you contact her. If you don't, you both ought to STFU.
Swiftie 0
Erm, I don't think they were being serious.
perdix 31
#68, exactly.
p3mguin 7
Thank you perdix, you are my hero. People are hypocrites on this website
Calyx_fml 22
I must agree with Perdix on this one. I've had friendless periods in my life but I would never stoop to paying a friend-*****. If I absolutely HAD to pay someone for company it would be a real *****! None of this pansy-assed "Wiw you pweeze be my fwend" crap. OP should have hired a male model gigolo and said it was her boyfriend, skipped the movie and gotten laid! Now THAT would be a great birthday, regardless of what her parents think.
Axipiter 24
82 - "Friend" isn't a verb. However, "befriend" is. Sorry, Facebook's recent effect on everything I witness lately just pisses me off. I WILL admit I have it pretty good if that's my biggest concern for the day, though.
kx1234 3
Who cares if there fakes or not! It is just a FML. You need to calm down.
KiddNYC1O 22
This thread is pretty pathetic.
simonsaysYDI 8
DontClickOnMe 28
I hope you got your money back then. How hard is it to remember someone's name? Happy Birthday, OP!
theninja1800 11
What happens if someone clicks on you?
DontClickOnMe 28
Oh, you don't wanna know. But if you do, then just click on me and find out. I dare you. >:D *insert evil laugh here*
theninja1800 11
I think I'll pass on that hahaha
cutemonsterx3 6
I clicked and got scared :( lol
PinkHorset 5
I really wanna click on you, but I really don't..
perdix 31
I hope you stiffed your employee on the tip. That's shitty service!
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah no kidding. Whoever you hired really sucked. I hope you didn't lose much money on the OP.
unknown_user5566 27
OP's "employee" probably isn't used to being required to remember names outside of "Big Daddy" and "Papi". ;)
jazziness 12
I hope you got your money back.
drunkandfml 11
Try to make friends, and I hope you got your money; that girl is pretty dumb to be honest
MrFuzzles 5
If you actually paid someone to be your friend then you deserve it. That's pretty damn pathetic OP. Try being social, it's FREE!
Redox127 7
Time for a Project X party.
TurdFerguson66 0
Where at ill bring the hookers
rcgirl2 11
Somebody say," Hey! We want some pussay!" *repeats in Costa's voice*
CessOMG 3
You can never buy a friend, OP. Just go tell your parents and make some real friends! :) Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!