Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
Today, after my dad ran off 15 years ago, during which time my mom died, and I had to become my brother's legal guardian and somehow get both me and then him through university while working 4 jobs, my dad turned up on our street. He tried to flirt with me, because he didn’t recognise me. Scumbag. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
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Top comments
Vulkfury 8
Awkward situation
Tempest559 12
Good thing you didn't fall for his sweet moves, otherwise you might have a new sister/daughter. That shit gets complicated around the holidays.
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Comments (73)
Vulkfury 8
Awkward situation
AugustBurnsToast 14
Later that day... Father: You know...you remind me so much of your mother. Daughter: (Dull and sarcastic tone) I'm not surprised.
s0m3guy2010 21
It can't be too awkward... it happened in Tennessee. I hear the banjo music already.
slick5880 22
It would be even more awkward if OP was a he.
mylifesucks_fml 1
Awkward car ride home... better hope it was a short one
Dramori 29
You know it's coming... wincest!!! :p
iStrukk 7
Incest is Wincest
iStrukk 7
Dammit, 94, I didn't see your post.
nahgemoohc 17
Who's your daddy?;)
Climaxx 11
Well, that's one way to break the ice.
KingOfAmazing 9
How much does does a penguin have to weigh? Enough to break the ice! *rimshot*
muzy 23
why did the two penguins jump when they first met? To break the ice!
22cute 17
The penguin dropped his car at the garage & went to treat himself to ice cream. When he returned the mechanic looks up and says, "looks like you blew a seal, man." The penguin wipes his mouth and says, "no, it's just a little ice cream."
newbiehere99 6
65 - HAHAHA that totally mad me forget what I was about to comment. Made my day. :)
ScaughtieHolden 11
Penguins don't weigh anything. I always thought the joke was "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I'm ____."
Daftendirekt1 0
Actually penguins do have weight. And mass. Just not enough to break your regular layer of ice.
22cute 17
They take up space as well, right?
MGSPOP 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's not your fault,you didn't know it was him. Especially since he started flirting with you. Hopefully he forgave you OP.
wannagofast 3
I think OP is more concerned that the strange man hitting on her was her father...not that she may have offended him...
Naomimi_fml 6
Why should he have to forgive her? It should be the other way arounf- the father sounds like quite the scumbag. He's been estranged from his daughter for many years and he flirts with random young women in the airport when he's waiting to meet her?
CoconutOil 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#3, understanding what you read is a great human being attribute. As far as OP is concerned, Her father made it very awkward. Regardless, seems like a pervert father to me, if he can't stop flirting whilst waiting for his daughter. But again, may be OP just reminded him with her mother!!
22cute 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh, that's a nice way to look at it, 63. I hope you're right!
KiddNYC1O 22
Hello, to my understanding she wasn't flirting back.
regsworld11 2
Well that's just awkward...
gabrielle01 0
Not real
boating_guy 33
4- What a novel revelation you've had. Thanks for sharing. I feel enlightened already.
gabrielle01 0
Love it ^
fofojade 6
I love you xD
gabrielle01 0
I love you too, big fatty ;)
Cartera 10
Jeez people put your cocks away.
loserboii 11
At least you know he likes you still.
Blue_Black_fml 21
^ Not in the way she was hoping for!
igive 29
I'd vomit after that situation in sheer horror if I were op.
Zedd_fml 8
"you look so beautiful, since the last time I sa...." Op: "get away you ******* creep" " I am your father" *awkward*
oppawoppa 9
Thank you, 111, for putting the FML into a great conversation that we obviously needed.
randeep101 5
126--- **** off it was a joke get ur ugly face to a plastic surgeon before I die looking at it!! And u might wanna change ur FML profile picture into something PRETTIER!! So again even tho u have NO LIFE let others tell their funny jokes!!
tpm45 25
Hey sexy... I am your father. "Coughhhh-purrrrrrr"
Tempest559 12
Good thing you didn't fall for his sweet moves, otherwise you might have a new sister/daughter. That shit gets complicated around the holidays.
bstudds 1
man this shouldn't have made me laugh so hard but it did.. sorry!
sumbum95 15
That kind of made my day. Lmfao!!
lindora 35
I hate when that happens.
gabrielle01 0
Like anyone would flirt with you, you uuugly ******....
peachesncreem 21
28 - that's not very nice, even if it is the truth. 6 - I hate it when someone comments "I hate when that happens". As if the story being told in the FML happens on an everyday basis.
gabrielle01 0
Hahaha you no its true :)
iliketurdles 7
No it's not. If I wasn't a turtle, I'd be all like "Sup' babe" and then she'd have my offspring. At least that's what we do. Turtles are ***** in comparison of your culture.
gabrielle01 0
Oh you in your piggy land so khoot :)
bizarre_ftw 22
To help balance out the bitch in this comment thread I'd like to mention that 6, you're actually quite pretty, I like your hair & make up, and a majority of the people (not commenting on your comment solely for laughs - I always say those people get a free pass unless it's a truly shit job) are assholes, the other is 38 Also, to said aforementioned assholes, please take the pole out of your asses and stop taking out your own inadequacy issues on 6, her comment was funny (or at least a better read than yours) Good day (if this is posted twice blame my glitchy phone and not me)
gabrielle01 0
Your not so great yourself ugly ****** haha :) #72 I think
DocBastard 40
Gabrielle - First, you have no right to comment on someone's attractiveness, as you don't have a profile pic up yourself. Second, I'm not sure what's working worse - your eyes or your brain. Third, the comment section isn't for commenting on profile pictures. **** off with this bullshit.
Climaxx 11
What's with the rudeness in this thread? #6 isn't ugly & she plays rugby, so she's pretty cool in my books.
iliketurdles 7
Wait, how am I an asshole? Did you even read my comment? When Gabrielle said "Like anyone would flirt with you..." I responded with saying I would - Indirectly, and humorously (I may have failed but people found it funny) - because clearly she's attractive. Also, inadequacy issues? Really? I think you misunderstood what I was getting at.
bizarre_ftw 22
I believe I said your comment was the exception, maybe I should've phrased that clearer, when I said "the other is 38" I meant you were the one not being an asshole
User57777 13
So I take it this happens to you frequently?
iliketurdles 7
I suspected as much. Don't worry, it happens more often than you think. Nevertheless, have a nice day.
gabrielle01 0
Haha thanks for the comments on me. It only makes me want to do it more ;P
DocBastard 40
Great, please continue doing it more. It'll just get you banned faster so we don't have to deal with your claptrap anymore. Or have you not read the commenting rules?
Ainarr 29
I can't find any blame on you here. Your dad shouldn't come up and flirt LMAO. Unless you take things like people are flirting with you all the time. Then YDI.
1crabbygirl 10
True, could have misinterpreted it.
takrushi 4
Another reason not to be a dead-beat dad!
courtz94 24
I agree:) and that dad is a creep.
Jiinxx 8
welp, at least your dad knows you have standards.