Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
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Top comments
kballa21 2
Better lay off those beans...
RadiationNeon 5
Let's see the Chinese Copy that...
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Comments (154)
kballa21 2
Better lay off those beans...
firegirl1993 21
At least you'll be memorable.
unknown_user5566 27
But if they laid off the beans, how would OP end their routine with a bang? ;)
klovemachine 24
Ah yeah :)
GovernorGeneral 8
Lol OP try doing it again so you could try brushing it off as the noise some chairs make when dragged on the ground. ;D Everyone's tried that at least once...
Meettitan 14
That's not what the coaches mean when they say "stick the landing", but I'm sure they admire your improving skills.
luckyd880 12
Kid in china "why you wake me up?!!"
perdix 31
I thought in gymnastics, balance beans are compulsory.
cartooncharacter 9
In response to your profile picture...no you don't! Unless……
hinchkongfang 0
In china, they call a fart a "fom-pei" - Chinese kid probably said "aye ya, who fom-pei??"
PeachesnCream88 0
Don't worry OP, shit happens... and now you'll have an awesome story to tell your grandkids :D
TheCaterpiller 6
Oh... Did the judges still say you did well?
shayshayshazam 14
10s across the board! 9 for the routine, and an extra point for a stylistic and creative ending!
gojira666 7
All but the French judge.
elliotb94 9
Can they really penalize you for that?
beaute_fatale 5
what does it have to do with the french judge ?!
BloodFaerie 21
if you have to ask, you're probably french.... sorry
crazyladydaisy 4
Don't let that ruin your victory, sounds like you performed well, congrats.
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah. Don't let the fart ruin your outstanding performance. Enjoy the win, forget about the fart, keep the trophy!
efemel94 7
Agreed! Sounds like you had a cracking performance
LaLince 40
I agree
RadiationNeon 5
Let's see the Chinese Copy that...
sunnyt 5
So it was you that woke me up, thanks OP..
mrphychrs 5
girls don't fart... or poop...
globetrottter 3
That's cause they don't get assholes till they grow up and get married ;)
TheCaterpiller 6
You need to get. Girlfriend and find out for yourself that actually.... They do
unknown_user5566 27
18 your sentences were. So choppy and I had a... hard time reading them. ;)
elletex 8
He's a caterpillar, go easy on him. ;)
GovernorGeneral 8
Oh my god. So i'm not a girl !?
monkeybanana 7
Have you heard of the book "Everyone Poops"?
False_Stupidity 42
Who said the OP is a girl? .. Men do gymnastics too and the FML doesn't specify a gender.
jjmeow 10
I'd be terrified of any guy who can do the splits. o_O
TheYoshiMan 12
Who says it was a girl? Guys do gymnastics too..
sweethang26 7
Dear God, Please tell me this guy is joking. Sincerely, Sane people
kodinbug 2
At least the fart showed you really put some effort into it! That's great though:) it's always a grey feeling to perfect something you've worked hard at!! And farting feels go too I guess...
kodinbug 2
Oops sorry guys, good not go... Oops -_-
AugustBurnsToast 14
Agreed, sounds like OP really went out with a bang!
kodinbug 2
Oh my gosh! And great not grey, Lol I HATE auto correction!
GlitterAngel 8
I cried so hard reading this! Thank you! Helped me digest my dinner quicker! Lol.
theneatoburrito 8
That's when you play it cool, pretend like it was part of the routine, and pray to God the judges have a sense of humor.
lalatookasheema 8
Well that stinks. You really blew it. Butt that's okay. Better luck next time!
kodinbug 2
Haha so creative. Silly silly:)
superbubbles 4
I see what you did there.
TurnpikeTwister 0
Did you 118? OMG, I thought I was the only one!
unknown_user5566 27
If the fart was indeed that loud, it makes your routine even more impressive. ;)
Dracoboxer357 36
10- Agreed, after a great routine, It'd be hard for her competition to deliberately top that as a memorable Grand Finale. ;)
The_Big_Boss 20
How do you know? Did you measure how many decibals your fart was?
shutyourmouth12Z 7
Hilarious comment xD
tim240_fml 4
Taking it too far, besides who does that?
False_Stupidity 42
*hides the decimeter*