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The all-time greatest FMLs

Don't go

By Kyle - 18/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Universal City

Today, my parents finally decided to get a divorce. The catch? I'm on my step-dad's insurance and without it, I will no longer be able to receive my absolutely crucial mental health medication, on which, no exaggeration, my life depends upon. I'm cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 119

What?

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 17:59

Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 1 255

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 115

**** me, I guess!

By Onionallergy - 09/03/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, one of my clients fired me from my cleaning job, all because I had to cancel last minute after I had to drive myself to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction. She screamed at me until I hung up on her. She's my aunt and godmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 82

Happy Birthday to the Ground

By FML Approved - 11/09/2017 22:31

So many FMLs happen on birthdays. They should probably be avoided altogether.

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 135

Dodged a bullet

By Newly single - 07/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who never gives a dime to homeless people, donated half his paycheck to the victims of Hurricane Helene, saying that "Biden has left them to die" because they're "poor white people." Nice to know he's not just a cheap ass, but a racist conspiracy theorist as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 388

Social situations make me nervous

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 12:00

Today, someone handed me a drink at a wedding, so I awkwardly took a sip and commented on the taste. It turns out they were just trying to “Cheers!” me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 260

Mismanaged

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my manager issued our next month's schedule, where I’m only working 12 hours a week, which is bollocks. He tried to claim he did it so I could spend more time with my baby. What baby? I have no baby. The prick can’t even remember who I am. Give me hours and pay me money, you wanker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 112

Patience

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 15:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife texted me, saying an expensive piece of furniture had been delivered. I specifically said, "Wait until I get home and we'll put it together." An hour later, she opened it and broke it beyond repair while trying to assemble it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 106

I am a man

By FREEDOM - 09/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I left my wife of 25 years. For every one of those years, I was treated like a stupid child or a worthless burden. When I finally got fed up, everyone said I was the bad guy. I just want to be treated like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 173

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

By Bamboozled - 23/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 174

Flimsy excuse

By Anonymous - 04/05/2025 22:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my fiancee broke up with me, all because I told her I couldn't install a home security system, fix a camera, and entertain her son in the hour before I went to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 85

The call of the wild

By not outdoorsy - 10/07/2020 14:02

Today, I haven’t been camping since I was a kid. I decided to give it another shot. I bought all the best equipment, researched all the great locations, planned a whole weekend. Turns out I still fucking hate camping and now I’m out over $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 2 240

A little stiff and rusty

By Footloose - 11/09/2023 14:30

Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 118

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 181

Sounds like a keeper, actually

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 00:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 1 891

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 3 596

Call the cops

By Matt Steele - 04/02/2021 14:01

Today, after they said being a dad is fun, after saying that you got to do things when you were a kid… Well now, I'm at the lost and found of the city, asking, "Have you seen my kid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 539

Accounting

By SOME QUESTIONS DON'T NEED ANSWERS - 29/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 129

Small world

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 12:00

Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 107

Red tape

By Unemployed - 22/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, Social Security is docking my benefits because I have a job. That's normal… Except I haven't had a job since November 2023. After my old boss left, she was replaced by an ableist prick who fired me as soon as he realized that I'm disabled. No matter what I do, they refuse to believe me. Help? FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 126

By sadgirlhours - 27/08/2019 02:01 - United States - Gulfport

Today, I tried plugging in my Gatorade bottle with a charging cable instead of my phone. I couldn't tell if the reason was because I was high, or I'm just really that fucking stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 1 878

Don't call me Karen

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was so tired that I thought the item I'd ordered a few months ago had been delivered then stolen, so I emailed the company about it. When I checked back on the website, I realized it hadn't actually been delivered yet and I read the invoice wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 516

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 117

By dane - 29/06/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 43

Triggered

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 121

By Deathrace - 17/05/2011 13:08 - India

Today, I was on an adult-orientated website when my mother entered the room. I closed the webpage as fast as I could by clicking everywhere. I discovered later that, while panicking, I clicked on “share on Facebook”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 415

Nosy nitwit

By Paladin Rayjack - 16/10/2024 20:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 87

This is America

By Anthony - 30/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Manorville

Today, I’m so broken and poor that I look forward towards my one free meal in my shelter just so I can have a conversation with people and act like I’m happy, and see another smile. I wish I could have more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 101

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The Top

Today, for the sixteenth consecutive time, I'm definitely not pregnant. Nope, I'm just super bitchy, and I like really weird food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 183

You deserved it 2 467

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 441

You deserved it 46 357

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 380

You deserved it 4 641

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 2 678

Today, one of my younger nephews had an epileptic seizure. My mom started to administer wrong treatments she learned from Google. Being a doctor, I told her she'll make it worse. She then told me to shut up because I'm inexperienced, saying that Google has been there longer than I've been a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 125

You deserved it 185

Today, it’s been about two and a half months since I entered into a severe, borderline suicidal depressive episode. My psychiatrist prescribed a new antidepressant to go with my mood stabilizer, but it will take up to a month to kick in. Looks like it’s gonna be a blue Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 148