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The all-time greatest FMLs

Taking the mickey

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 89

Send positive thoughts

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Nashua

Today, I learned that I am probably going to be homeless. My fiancé broke up with me on our two year anniversary because my mental health is declining rapidly. I recently lost my job and a parent. I have been isolating and no longer have supports. I just want my life to have meaning again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 140

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 157

Please leave me alone

By Getting an F - 05/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get ready for a final. I had about six hours to study. My girlfriend decided to help by jabbering loudly in my ear about celebrity gossip, noisily cleaning the office and losing my notes, and getting in a screaming argument with her mom over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 180

Mortified

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 200

Embezzled

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, I'm a child star who made A LOT of money, TONS! My parents used it to pay all the bills of the house, claiming that we were really poor and needed this money. I charged over 5k per show (4 SHOWS A MONTH) and they would ONLY give me 20 dollars to spend. What happened to the rest? I will never know, I am SO BROKE. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 157

Red flag

By not good enough - 27/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, he spoke with my mom and the fact that she wants me dead is a huge red flag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 108

Sassy machine

By Shell - 14/02/2023 16:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, at the vending machine at work, I selected a regular soda but a diet soda came out. It turns out the soda I did select was stuck behind the bottle of diet soda. Is the universe trying to tell me something? FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 252

Some me time

By Soon to be a widow - 19/12/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 178

Asshole design

By mala_19 - 22/09/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 108

Mythbusters

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 107

Rekt thread

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 06:00

Today, my son came home saying there had been a bad accident where two people died in a crash. This sounded terrible but he then said, "Yeah, I took pictures. Wanna see the bodies? They’re disgusting." Everyone in the house except me jumped up to look at those poor dead people. I raised savages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 155

By Vive le métro - 14/03/2014 04:36 - France - Paris

Today, there was a pollution peak in Paris. In the metro, I desperately attempted to validate my pass and was waiting for the green light. I finally decided to jump over the revolving door and ridiculously failed… My roommate, the ticket inspectors and the other people laughed. The metro was free today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 189

Revelation

By Andrea Marie McNeil - 26/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out during my eleventh year anniversary with my husband that he was cheating on me with his recently deceased friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 81

Talk is cheap

By Tris - 12/09/2019 16:00

Today, my co-workers keep making fun of me because I said, “You’re very so welcome.” They say it's not proper grammar, but honestly I can’t find anything that says I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 2 154

Never joke about it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got back to work from a 4 month hospital stay and I joked with my boss that after so long away, I’m not planning on being sick again for years. Two hours later, a coworker knocked me down the stairs. A dislocated hip and a broken femur requiring 4-6 weeks of recovery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 71

Hope

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 00:00

Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 143

Nicely planned

By Giveninsally - 09/10/2023 05:00

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 182

By sciencenat - 14/01/2016 06:36 - France - V?lizy-villacoublay

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 140

Puppy Cheats at Golf

By FML Approved - 31/08/2017 03:00

You can't stay mad at that face for too long!

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 146

Alexa, play "Lost in the Supermarket" by The Clash

By metroido - 15/11/2023 16:00

Today, it was my first shift at Walmart. I wasn’t given an assignment, and my supervisor told me to “go find the manager to get assigned.” I spent the entire eight hours of my shift trying to find the manager. I couldn’t find my supervisor again either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 128

By setaleschausasses - 26/12/2010 05:22 - Lebanon

Today, I was trying to impress a very cute guy at a party by grinding up against him. During my very sexy choreography, I heard him say, “It feels like a slug rubbing against me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 307

Dumb question

By Anonymous - 12/05/2020 14:00

Today, “Who decided that?” was apparently not the correct thing to reply to a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 1 939

Good luck

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 15:00

Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 71

It's sus to us

By Nicky - 04/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my husband got on a business call, but he was not using his usual booming, baritone voice. Instead, he was soft and sweet and began with, "Hey, how have you been?" and quickly went into his office. Curious, I listened outside his door. It was a female co-worker. The work talk was waaaay too fun and familiar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 133

By ikolo - 25/02/2012 07:37 - Malaysia

Today, I broke my leg while riding a bike. The doctor couldn’t help laughing when he saw on the X-ray that the broken tip of my bone looked like a puzzle piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 53

My good boy

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is divorcing me because I refused to sign off on the paperwork to break our kids’ trust funds or mortgage our house in order to pay for surgery for his 12 year-old dog. Yeah, it’s not like our kids need a future or a place to live or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 197

MY CHEESE!

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Tuckerton

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 89

Coping

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 18:00

Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 504

By Anonyme - 26/02/2013 07:12 - Madagascar - Mahajanga

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual attention. He woke me up by putting a slice of ham on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 163

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The Top

Today, I was delivering pizzas, and mine and many other delivery guys’ dream came true when I knocked and a naked girl opened the door. A 72-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 98

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 639

You deserved it 3 941

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 544

You deserved it 5 364

Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 1 457

Today, my son wants to go to Norway for our holiday and my husband wants to go to Disneyland, so of course they decide they can only choose by having a Nerf battle through the entire house. Meanwhile, I seem to be the only one taking anything seriously. This is why I despair of both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 796

Today, I told my girl to go upstairs and change her shorts to pants since my friends were over watching the game. She came back down wearing even shorter booty shorts and a tube top. I was so pissed, I couldn’t even enjoy the match, and I know my friends are never gonna let me live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 1 322