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The all-time greatest FMLs

Save me!

By Zorah - 31/08/2023 04:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 332

By blaise - 13/04/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 53

Two-faced

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 125

Risky business

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I hooked up with a really great guy while I’m on a business trip. Would've been great, but found out he slept with someone else right after me, and stole my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 926

Red flags all over the place

By Anonymous - 29/04/2023 22:00 - Japan - Nagano

Today, I messaged the guy I like, with whom I’ve felt we've been disconnected, and would like to talk soon to reconnect. We talked, but all he would do is answer my questions with blatant lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 200

What have you done?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 86

Know this of me…

By thefmlman2011 - 02/09/2023 00:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 253

Alexa, play "Jump" by Van Halen

By Thescarlettfox - 01/03/2020 21:00

Today, I had the brilliant idea of jumping off a swing at its highest point. I can now add two things to my list of accomplishments: making out with a tree and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 1 464

Give me something, anything!

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hired as an aide to a manager. He only works 2 hours a day, so I only work for 2 hours. The other 8 hours of my day I'm bored because I’m not allowed to go home, watch YouTube, browse Facebook, or read a book, so I just sit at my desk, earning £0.17 over minimum wage, to stare at a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 161

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 93

Nice

By Screwed - 28/12/2025 03:00

Today, I'm diagnosed with a terminal liver cancer. I live abroad, away from my family, so I called them and asked them to come visit me, possibly for the last time. I even offered to pay for the travel both ways. The mother, with a quite indifferent tone, declined my offer and hung up the fuckin' phone on me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 78

It's called getting old

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, like most days recently, and even after 10 hours of sleep, I need at least 3 cups of coffee per day in order be able to… sit on the sofa and, well, not fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 219

Kinda sussy

By HiddenGF - 07/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of a year is talking to another woman on Instagram. When I go to bed, he talks to her until 2-3am, and while I’m at work too, all day long. Their conversations are friendly, but he seems more enthusiastic with her than me. This explains why he doesn’t feature me in his stories and posts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 131

Triggering

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 12:00 - United States - White Plains

Today, a cashier sniffed at the money "you people" waste on tattoos. I have two full sleeve bamboo thickets to cover up old self-harm scars, but her criticism caused the self-hatred to come roaring back. Now it's a struggle to not fall back into those habits and damage that admittedly expensive artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 223

Nag nag nag

By Whipped like cream - 14/07/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 224

Dodged a bullet

By whatever - 08/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 71

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 57

Smile like you mean it

By sad - 24/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was feeling sad and depressed at work, when a customer said, “Smile. It’s nice and sunny outside.” Sunny weather makes me depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 683

Strict house

By Sierra - 10/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, after I spent a weekend at my boyfriend’s house, I came home to find the locks changed. My parents decided to change them because they “don’t need me slutting around under their roof.” My boyfriend lives 4 hours away and I have nothing but an overnight bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 167

What's going on?

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a political debate, and now I'm more confused than when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 262

Chill out, Mom

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my mom is in hysterics, all because I told her I don't want to get married or have kids, and I'm not interested in dating anyone. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 115

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, after nearly 4 years together, my girlfriend told me that not only does she not love me anymore, she was lying about wanting to work things out because it would be "too hard" for her to go back to financing her own life. I'm nothing more than an extra wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 91

Too fast

By Covian - 05/03/2026 09:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he lost his feelings for me and is breaking up with me. He also told me he’ll be glad to contribute to raising our son, who I gave birth to 3 months ago. To rub salt in the wound, he announced on Facebook as “In a relationship” with his coworker 12 hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 96

Helpless

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband actually helped put our 4 year-old to bed because I was watching my nephews, who were about to be picked up. When I was sitting with my nephews in the living room, he yelled for me to help with our daughter. I said I couldn’t and he told me to shut up. I put her to bed every other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 152

Time to shine

By lukey101 - 07/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was flattered to receive a hand-addressed letter for the first time in years. I tore it open to discover it was actually addressed to my dog. It was a vaccination reminder from his vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 146

Afraid of the dark

By Katie - 12/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to the restroom at work, but I forgot the press on the button/timer because the lights were already on, then the lights turned off while I was in the stall. I had to finish my business and exit the pitch-black restroom while trying not to bump into anything or anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 210

By weatherlike - 02/09/2008 05:12 - Cuba

Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn. Ike and Josephine want to come and say hi too. They’re not friends of ours, but rather the next cyclones that may pass by the island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 90

Body clock

By what - 03/09/2023 08:00

Today, I decided to turn over a new leaf. I slept eleven hours instead of twelve, with the intention of cutting down to eight. Instead, my body chose to faint from exhaustion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 222

By Sonia Kirpalani - 05/08/2019 00:01

Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 983

Celebrate!

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 12:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My brother's girlfriend gave me a few snide comments about the choice of music and my dress. Then she teased me about not having a boyfriend. By the way, I haven't had a relationship in five years because I'm still traumatized from past domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 96

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The Top

Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 832

You deserved it 702

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 221

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 762

You deserved it 3 311

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 948

You deserved it 15 646

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 181

You deserved it 48 187

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 877

You deserved it 469