Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes, so I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes… but at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
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Top comments
tranced_ 45
You could've bought a new pair of sandals then and there from the mall instead of going home barefoot in the heat I mean why not?! I mean you clearly can afford designer sandals
azouwa 26
BS flag on the play. If you were in a mall you could of found a pair of shoes to walk home in. Nobody us that damn stupid. NEXT!
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Comments (15)
azouwa 26
BS flag on the play. If you were in a mall you could of found a pair of shoes to walk home in. Nobody us that damn stupid. NEXT!
RichardPencil 32
Ironically, mall shoe stores enforce a strict “No shirt, No shoes, No service” policy. Only people who have shoes can buy shoes!
itisme_fml 9
Maybe the OP could have explained her situation, and they might have let her purchase one of the flip-flops in her size.
chickensheep 15
I guess you SHOEdn’t have taken them off!
yarani 26
What's with all the people stealing stuff from public toilets?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I should start a petition to have public toilet stalls extend to the floor.
RichardPencil 32
The Partition Petition?
Cali 57
I'd sign it!
hellphone_fml 37
I would of immediately unlocked the door and started chasing them
blondie45 21
You mean you would “have”...
itisme_fml 9
Thank you, blondie45! I cringed when I read that.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
with your knickers round your ankles?
DanielleinDC 34
That's a bit tough if you're in the middle of peeing.
tranced_ 45
You could've bought a new pair of sandals then and there from the mall instead of going home barefoot in the heat I mean why not?! I mean you clearly can afford designer sandals
Cali 57
Maybe OP only had $0.74 left!
Nadine 21
Oooooooh, admin comin' in hot with that meta comment.
Lobby_Bee 18
You were at the mall, I'm sure security cameras would have got a glimpse of the thief when they came out of the bathroom.
RichardPencil 32
You should heed the wisdom of the ancient Chinese proverb, “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet ... so I started mocking him because I was having a shitty day. ‘Hey, what are you going to do, Stumpy, kick my ass? Hahahaha!’” I read that in a fortune cookie!
Luke Cann 5
If u were at the mall were there no shops selling shoes?
MrCT 22
Eww, Why would you take your shoes off in a public toilet in the first place....
itisme_fml 9
That was my first thought too! Ewww!