Today, my mum found out I had a girl in my room and faked a heart attack. I know it was fake because she did the same when I came out as lesbian, when I invited a girl to prom, when I asked dad for advice on sex. I get it mum, you’re a homophobe, so stop faking heart attacks, it’s bad for the NHS. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend (she's 14) said she had lung cancer. This made me and my other friend very worried for her, but now we know she was faking it since when she was "at the hospital" she was at a friend's house, and her mom came to the school to confirm she was faking the whole thing. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
She's going to end up the boy who cried wolf
Yudith 28
Why did you ask your Dad for advice on lesbian sex? "Honey, I know everything about lesbian sex. I saw all the videos."
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Comments (2)
core01 30
She's going to end up the boy who cried wolf
Yudith 28
Why did you ask your Dad for advice on lesbian sex? "Honey, I know everything about lesbian sex. I saw all the videos."