Anonymous
Dumb question
Today, “Who decided that?” was apparently not the correct thing to reply to a cop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United Kingdom
High performance, high risk quipping
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
anon
Washougal, United States
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Don't you know who I am?
Today, my daughter told a police officer to call me because I could get them fired unless they let her off for speeding, spitting at and kicking officers, and damaging police property. I work in a supermarket and have no idea what she was talking about. I can’t fire anyone. FML
Anonymous
United States
Risky move
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Alex
Jeffersonville, United States
No reply
Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML
Chey
Bakersfield, United States
Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML
Anonymous
Brighton, Australia
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Overzealous cop of the day
New York, United States
What did you expect?
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Boundaries
Wage slave
Today, I learned that asking your boss, “Am I gonna get paid extra?” when he asks that you chip in for your co-worker-who-just quit’s duties is not an appropriate response. In fact, I was written up for “insubordination” and “inability to be a team player.” FML
wtffireworks!
United States
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
Top comments
Mathalamus 25
You deserved it. Cops don't have a sense of humour.
pawesome21 21
They actually do. You just need to be funny. Not sarcastic.
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Comments (8)
Mathalamus 25
You deserved it. Cops don't have a sense of humour.
pawesome21 21
They actually do. You just need to be funny. Not sarcastic.
Mathalamus 25
No. Don't ever try to joke with a cop. Not even remotely a good idea.
jbuckets_404 39
And I bet the cop replied, "I did!" (Who else?)
bloopaloop 27
Things possibly said immediately prior : “You’re under arrest” “You are not allowed to ********** here” “I’m here in response to a domestic violence call” “I’ll have four chocolate glazed, please” “Joe Biden went missing 2 months ago. There’s a reward if you find him”
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you're gonna be a smart-ass around a cop, make sure you say something funny. Even with zero context, you deserved to get arrested. Although, we can't all be as sharp-witted and charming as Fluffy when it comes to cops.
tounces7 28
Of course, because someone who isn't breaking any laws deserves to be arrested in our modern Police-State society for not licking the boots of our masters.
jfigley 5
Haha Fluffyyyyy!!
JasonThorn 23
Are you one of those "sovereign citizens," OP? I've checked a few of them out and they are belligerent like this.
Baby_123 8
Really smart bellitiling a front line worker who is striving to keep us all safe you should be ashamed
Brightside86 31
I wouldn't give a cop any lip they are already under a lot of stress and can easily have a power complex and you can easily end up a target.
tounces7 28
You have to prostrate yourself and beg forgiveness whenever dealing with police, as they feel they are superior beings to the rest of us and must be worshiped as such.