Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML
Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
That's ******* ridiculous... You're better off without the ungrateful bastard.
Eggers 2
You didn't let him sleep at your place?
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Comments (105)
Eggers 2
You didn't let him sleep at your place?
KronikSplakkn 4
What a shitface .
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Hope you gave him the herp..
marthagayo 14
1 sounds like they are minors!!
ceddyz17 10
Some girlfriend you are =p
bluelagoon24 19
Maybe she wasn't able to for a reason. At least she got him back safely. He's a douche for being so bratty about being told off by his mother.
Joey44 15
Because obviously they're both in high school and still living with their parents, and her parents probably don't want her boyfriend sleeping over anyway, let alone when he's rat-arsed.
naughtia 14
I would have left him on the door step.
mortuum 10
How unappreciative of him.
kaileigh33 0
Wax ur brows
guckylynn 19
35, yours are over-waxed. The space between them is too far apart.
HondaKidd 5
I love you 40. Ruining cyber bullies since 1998(:
DocBastard 40
Here's an idea - stop being overly critical bitches.
22cute 17
Nah, count yourself lucky for the breakup!
JadedJarOfHearts 3
Hahha I love Canada. :)
elephantom12 9
Wtf does this have to do with Canada besides the fact that OP is from there?
TalkinSmack 6
I love ignorant people who blame everything on canada
Daralea 21
:) I love Canada too, but that's irrelevant to the FML post.
JadedJarOfHearts 3
You cam drink legally on Canada at 18. That's why I love it.
tasteslikedenial 4
Actually, it's only 18 in a few provinces. You have to be 19 in most places.
JadedJarOfHearts 3
I live in Alberta. I'm pretty sure is 18 everywhere in Canada. :)
MyChemical_fml 0
No bitch it's 19 in Ontario.
JadedJarOfHearts 3
No need at call me a bitch. Like chill down. xD
tasteslikedenial 4
Haha, yeah... No. I live in New Brunswick, it's 19 here too.
idaunik 3
Come to Denmark, its 16 over here haha
Yasmine19_fml 3
I live in Ontario its 19 ..
javierb88 3
What are you like 12?
je_suis_fml 11
4, what are you like? Tell me about you...
peete182 0
You're funny
UnicornxPoop 0
Lol
vamppixie 2
I doubt 12 wyear olds get drunk
hil_G 2
Not til they're 13...
Siliken 3
Well they do
ReesesPuffs 0
That's ******* ridiculous... You're better off without the ungrateful bastard.
nick347b 6
He sounds like a jerk anyway.
My_Nightmare 19
agreed
nothingforfreez 2
You could have fireman carried his ass in...
Freeze_fml 17
He sounds like a bright individual.
fallenkr3w 0
Yeah, why didnt you just let him stay at your place?
Sonic_boomerang 5
Shoulda left him on the lawn/driveway.