Today, while I was waiting for my train, a drugged out dude found it apropos to tell me women should be eaten like livestock, because they would, "probably be delicious." I'm a woman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, after countless failed rejections and derision from women, I've realized that the only time I experience any sort of happiness is when I'm eating. They say there's someone out there for all of us, but maybe that's not true. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
"You do *********** on cows?" He'd probably have thrown himself on the tracks rather than field that question!
TeaTimeAbyss 22
"Why are women scared of men?!?" Exhibit A
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
"You do *********** on cows?" He'd probably have thrown himself on the tracks rather than field that question!
Yudith 28
If women would probably be delicious, so would men.
TeaTimeAbyss 22
"Why are women scared of men?!?" Exhibit A