Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
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Top comments
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
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Comments (97)
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Stazza11 27
On a scale of 1 to wasabi, probably death.
howsthisforaname 34
Feed him yogurt, lots of yogurt. It won't prevent the coming pain but it will ease it. Also buy preparation H in bulk, he will need it.
weveallbeenthere 30
in bulk? I say if he's that stupid to drink a bottle of hot sauce, he would probably eat the preparation H.
sweetbliss3 37
if he's this dumb to think this would work, he deserves to endure the pain of ******** it out.
shanebob 15
But #40, he'll be able to whistle really well!
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
sayyestothedress 24
I bet he still has his pacifier and diaper
simplysarcastics 26
His new nickname is Hotass! Haha
Ichiya 29
Gives new meaning to Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire.
stellamahone 4
lol that sounds like what my bf would do to get out of working. he's 25 if it makes you feel any better
Mauskau 36
Please don't have children with him. We need less idiots in the world :(
meli1195 31
well, don't you just say the sweetest things to total strangers.
martin8337 36
I agree with #23. We have more than enough idiots in the world.
lifesentence 11
yes the gene pool is shallow enough...I will be looking for his Darwin award in the years to come.
Stazza11 27
Expletives shall be bellowing from the crapper for the next day or 2.
desoxyn242 14
People do it on YouTube LA beast drinks 4 large bottles of sriricha
mohamed_H 21
Your son has an IQ of a monkey
devildog562 33
Monkey tend to be pretty smart . I feel like you just insulted a whole species ...
mohamed_H 21
Oh well... His son has the IQ of Sid from ice age lol
lurker_no_more 13
we are all monkeys
brivielle 15
#19 speak for yourself.
littleteapot 21
Monkeys have tails. Apes do not. You should know this stuff!
SamanthaThe1st 23
That's a joke too mean for Sid. He would at least know not to do that
devildog562 33
Fire crotch comes to mind. Cause it's not just going to be his ass that burns.
lolurkidding 13
The only fever he's gonna get is the flaming one from his ass
iAmPaul 49
Kids these days...
Truthexists1 12
You are sick to call him an idiot Remember the apple doesnt fall far from the tree
Axel5238 29
The parents aren't always to blame. Kids will try and do stupid shit no matter what. People gotta stop blaming parents for all the stupid shit kids do.
RussRuss 7
He drank a bottle of hour sauce thinking it would give him a fever. Any decent brain would know that's not true, he's a idiot.
RussRuss 7
hot*
rocker_chick23 27
Why are you blaming the parents? I know people who grew up with good parents and they turned out to be idiots. I also know people who grew up with horrible and abusive parents, they turned out to be intelligent people with successful jobs. It is not always the parents fault that their kids turned out to be idiots.
blackman303 11
Apple may not fall far from the tree, but sometimes it will roll down a hill... A really long one
buttersmom 14
Hopefully he doesn't get too sick... He will learn! FYL for having to take care of him!