Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hey, no one will **** me either, but on the plus side Tears of the Kingdom is out now and it's amazing.
RichardPencil 32
Go to a bar at closing time. Surely, there will be at least one dude who's so drunk and disappointed that they'd settle for you. Glad I could help.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hey, no one will **** me either, but on the plus side Tears of the Kingdom is out now and it's amazing.
Razath 17
Now we just need another Tears-quality game once every three months or so and we should be set forever ;)
BurnInDemonFire 39
God invented cocaine for the years in between.
RichardPencil 32
Go to a bar at closing time. Surely, there will be at least one dude who's so drunk and disappointed that they'd settle for you. Glad I could help.
tiptoppc 21
You assume they are male and/or what their orientation is. You could’ve made a better sarcastic comment, much line I assume you have low IQ, but can’t prove it since all I’m basing it off is the knuckle-dragging comments you sometimes make. Before anyone gets upset, i’m just razzing on him. This post isn’t a serious SJW-type post, just bad attempts at humor