The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

By Blindjac - 20/02/2019 16:00

Today was my moms wedding and I was the maid of honor! I was so excited to walk down the isle with my mom, but the church was so dry I got a bloody nose 5 minutes before going down. I couldn’t go down the isle or watch my mom go down either. I had to stay in the back and hold my nose up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 203

Hiding from the drama

By Tiff8any - 14/07/2021 21:59

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 334

By DesignNerd - 25/01/2019 18:00

Today, my best friend excitedly told me all about this new video game she'd just discovered that she thought I'd love. It was her Xmas present from me 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 236

Hissy fit incoming!

By bad friend - 22/10/2019 14:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, my boyfriend’s female "best friend" hates me for absolutely no other reason other than she, "just doesn’t get along with girls." My boyfriend doesn’t see a problem with this, and insists I should just accept it since, "that’s just how she is." Time to throw the whole man away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 384

Innocent

By Luckless - 23/02/2019 04:00

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 294

You deserved it 180

Lingering

By Anonymous - 13/01/2019 16:00

Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 293

You deserved it 303

Spiritual connection

By EmoToyBoy - 30/04/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 465

Phoney sex

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 08:00

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 633

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 291

You deserved it 695

Deep desire

By Anonymous - 17/12/2019 05:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost a year. I finally have a good chance to get pregnant this month, and I'm ovulating today for the first time in 3 months. My husband has the flu, he's highly contagious for the next 24 hours, and has been asleep since I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 291

You deserved it 285

Who is happier, though?

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 04:00

Today, up until now, my baby sister has happily had over 100 sexual partners and has never had an STI or gotten pregnant. I had sex once in college, got pregnant with twins, caught syphilis ,and none of the men in our town ever looked at me sexually again. It’s been 17 years since I had sex that one time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 454

Perfect

By Julian - 05/05/2021 02:01

Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 219

Source?

By Anonymous - 05/11/2018 15:30

Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 3 629

Best boy

By jonnybones223 - 08/03/2019 04:00

Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 233

Windshield blues

By Damnit - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. Two weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they couldn't make it that day and turned up any way after I'd gone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 233

Thank you for being a friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 256

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 286

You deserved it 288

Policy schmolicy

By p!nk - 12/09/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, I let my daughter dye her hair pink. I got an email from her school stating that the hair color violated the school dress code as it's “distracting,” and she will not be allowed to attend classes until she changes it. We do school over Zoom. Not sure how her hair distracts on a screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 286

You deserved it 341

Mother of the year

By Atypical - 02/03/2021 02:01

Today, after a lifetime of struggles, I was finally officially diagnosed with ADHD. Thanks to years of ridicule, punishments, humiliation and even beatings over something I literally could not control, I also have terrible depression and anxiety. My mom still thinks I’m making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 227

My pleasure

By billjoebob424 - 07/02/2020 01:00 - Canada

Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 745

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, my mum, who always wanted more kids than just me, started crying because I'm not pregnant with her first grandchild yet. I'm 16, and this all started because I got my period and I asked to borrow one of her tampons because I'd ran out of my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 284

You deserved it 136

By machina - 16/07/2019 04:01

Today, I approached my mother for comfort, because I've been feeling depressed and unloved by anyone lately. She replied, “Honestly, I stopped loving you back when you were a toddler.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 284

You deserved it 166

Jaws

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 05:00 - Australia

Today, I was violently sick. There was so much vomit forcing itself out that I dislocated my jaw. I continued throwing up with a dislocated jaw for an hour or so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 172

Disinterested

By Forgetful godmother - 14/03/2019 16:00

Today, I learned that my son’s godmother forgot about the baptism date and booked a family holiday to Italy. Her mother is also on the trip and she is the officiant. I gave them both the date over 6 months ago. Everything is already booked on our side for that date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 298

No exit! No choice!

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 307

BTS stan

By Meh - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States - Bothell

Today, I found out that my roommate has a good voice, because he loudly sings Korean love songs at one in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 263

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 282

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 309

BBQ disaster

By ruined - 15/04/2020 17:00

Today, I made the most perfect prime rib of my life at an amazing medium rare. I was so distracted dyeing eggs with my kids that I didn’t notice my mom cut the meat, then deciding to shove it back into the oven as it was “too pink” for her liking. She incinerated it beyond all recognition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 361

By Anonymous - 27/02/2019 20:00

Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 188

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Neighbours Kids Noise I need your advice Relatable Parents Awkward Cheating Creepy Love Crime Sex Miscellaneous My ex Birthday Mother in law Money Transportation Cars Embarrassing Health Sports Weird Family Ironic Party Mental health Work Onlyfans Drunk

The Top

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 211

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 694

You deserved it 6 271

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 214

You deserved it 6 919

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 500

You deserved it 28 244

Today, it's my first day off in over two months. My colleagues disagree - they won't stop calling me. I'm not allowed to turn my phone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 180

Today, I accidentally left the pantry open. My narcissistic mother’s response was to spit on me and tell me to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 83