Today, my brother warned me he could drive me crazy without even being in the room. I didn’t believe him, so he pointed out just how loudly my girlfriend slurps anything she drinks. I honestly hadn’t noticed before, but now the slurping is all I notice, and it's driving me crazy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister, and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I've found that it's hard to focus on important things when your roommate won't stop singing at the top of his lungs, without any music playing mind you, especially when his singing voice sounds like a cat being forced through a meat grinder. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Warning: I can drive you crazy from even farther away. You might wonder how come your brother knows so much about her slurping. How are you doing now?
ahabsfan 17
You may want to take advantage of her slurping skills. Wink wink nudge nudge.
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Comments (6)
ahabsfan 17
You may want to take advantage of her slurping skills. Wink wink nudge nudge.
RichardPencil 32
Warning: I can drive you crazy from even farther away. You might wonder how come your brother knows so much about her slurping. How are you doing now?
Marcella1016 32
Lmao that was a good one. And yes, rather than a thumbs up, I’m telling you with my mouth. Just like his girlfriend.
Marcella1016 32
Is it weird that I find that sound kind of pleasant?
Hangryko 32
YDI for not believing him. You should know better by now.
Chazzster 32
Siblings, close friends, and others close to you know what buttons to push to get to you. That’s part of why it’s not wise to challenge them to upset you. It sounds like you might be a bit OCD if your girlfriend’s slurping suddenly bothers you. You are going to have to learn how to overlook minor annoyances in the people around you otherwise your life is going to be a pain.