Today, up until now, my baby sister has happily had over 100 sexual partners and has never had an STI or gotten pregnant. I had sex once in college, got pregnant with twins, caught syphilis ,and none of the men in our town ever looked at me sexually again. It’s been 17 years since I had sex that one time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML
Today, despite a condom, an IUD, and my boyfriend getting a vasectomy, I still managed to get pregnant. It was my first and only time having sex and I don’t want kids, ever. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, as a gynecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML
Today, a nurse asked me how many sexual partners I’ve had in the last six months and as I started counting in my head, I realised I need to make better life choices before an STD makes my crotch shrivel up and die. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Condoms, my friend. It’s all about condoms.
Crowned Sataness 12
yeah if you haven't had sex in 17 years, it's not the twins or the syphilis. you should have met plenty of people by now that doesn't know about the STI
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Comments (8)
Bogrbon 27
Condoms, my friend. It’s all about condoms.
Crowned Sataness 12
yeah if you haven't had sex in 17 years, it's not the twins or the syphilis. you should have met plenty of people by now that doesn't know about the STI
RichardPencil 32
Obviously, you are much better at sex than she is. She must be doing it wrong.
Iifa 7
Is there a chance she used condoms and you didn't? Also 17 years how?, Like okay maybe you live in a small town of less than 1000 people, but really 17 yrs has had tinder, plenty of fish, OkCupid, chatrooms, touchscreen phones, so many new clubs and support groups have been kick started and you never found one for you? Sti and twins don't last 17 years, maybe just maybe it isn't about you having twins and sti (unless you market yourself like this nobody knows your family status, age and medical history) and it's about you being comparative and judgemental, bitter on life not being fair to you.
Marcella1016 32
Lmao “twins don’t last 17 years”
Liam Rowley 17
Now she’s gonna get laid on here 🤣
Jon Tessler 14
maybe move to a different town
juggalo2 22
Syphilis is treatable.
JackWood 21
One night of pleasure a lifetime of misery. Make your choices wisely