Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Is that a side effect of roofies?
Charlie Given 28
Just tell him you'll pay for the hot tub clean up and that you had food poisoning maybe he'll still want to date you 🤔
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Comments (7)
Amanda Jaworski 23
And then a big brown shark came...
TumblrweedPasses 11
Going to assume that was the last date with that guy
jbuckets_404 39
Let's not jump to conclusions here! Some guys (NOT me!) are kinky that way....
RichardPencil 32
Is that a side effect of roofies?
jbuckets_404 39
Don't know, but it's the "floor" of her butt that "gave way" unexpectedly....
Charlie Given 28
Just tell him you'll pay for the hot tub clean up and that you had food poisoning maybe he'll still want to date you 🤔
zuckerburg 21
This is why you don't give alcohol to minors people. They're barely potty trained, and with inebriation, it's even worse. Don't believe me? Give your toddler a bottle of wine and no nappy and see them shit anywhere they like