Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML
Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Do you also idly wipe your ass as you ride in elevators? Please, tell us what other disgusting habits you idly have.
macskapingvin 0
I think the turn-off was there from the moment you stuck your digit up your nostril.
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Comments (86)
Ninjafriends 1
I think you impressed her.
Sirin_fml 47
I believe the key word is "guy".
Sirin_fml 47
I believe the key word here is "guy".
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Sirin, I'm a smoking-hot pot roast.
talldude4u 3
Absolutely with those eyes. Ostricheyes-itis, I presume? :D
Ninjafriends 1
Oops
fakeaccountX 6
I bet you're a real dude magnet.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I believe technically itd be ostricheyes-osis or perhaps opthalmomegaly with a hint of blepheromegaly, but you'd have to ask Doc to be sure, as I'm no expert.
Alpha35 4
u should've asked him to lick ur finger
ddawgg5523 0
disgusting bitch
Afxman 0
did u pick a winner
emmely143 0
wow.
claiiire_fml 17
43- get a sense of humor. you're making all the jokes and play on words lame by explaining them.
Chaosinferno 4
good point
canadian_ftw 8
I think tinted windows are very useful in this situation.
Rocketgirl89 17
You should have asked him if he wanted to take one side and you take the other. You would have finished picking your nose a lot faster.
celerysticks381 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
snickers001 0
#49 awesome picq :)
ArwinEvenstar 0
BENDER FTW
macskapingvin 0
I think the turn-off was there from the moment you stuck your digit up your nostril.
DAN7IEL 2
haha I was thinking that same thing!!!!
kile88 2
or maybe just wait till you get home? **** I don't care if I have a 5c coin stuck up there I'd never pick it in public. that's just dirty. ydi
hail_this_villai 0
rofl, how often does currency venture into your nose?
TheWicked 4
Shit happens ya'know ;D
Doortje 30
You should have asked your boyfriend to pick it for you. YDI.
DocBastard 40
Do you also idly wipe your ass as you ride in elevators? Please, tell us what other disgusting habits you idly have.
hail_this_villai 0
That's quite a leap Doc, even for you!
BWill9014 4
lololol
salsalover_12 5
omg doc i love you
bellahhh 0
LMFAOOOO
Ninjafriends 1
It's not altogether uncommon to see people do this. Maybe being in an enclosed space makes people feel that they're isolated, despite the windows.
sourgirl101 29
I believe you're correct. I read that something like 30% of people pick their nose while driving.
jvillan87 5
I'd like to think that the percentage would be higher...like maybe 40%.
Ninjafriends 1
Maybe 42%
Nadinek98 0
what did u eat it cause that's just WRONG
generalasskicker 12
power ranger^