Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML
Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML
Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML
Today, my financial issues hit a new low when I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guy who did my hair. FML
Today, after four years of infertility, my wife and I found out our miracle pregnancy was going to be a boy; our first child. Twenty minutes later, we found out our child has a terminal genetic condition, and will die in the next 4 weeks. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML
bailey_biz tells us more.
Hey, OP here. I lotion my feet multiple times a day. I also work at a place that requires me to constantly be on my feet. It's not like I don't try to fix it. I've had it for a long time now, I even have my own pedicure instruments and sugar scrub, but it doesn't help get my feet 100% smooth.
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, while working the drive-through at McDonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" and throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I resigned from my dream job with a small company. In the 6 weeks I worked there, a fist-fight occurred, the police were called 4 times, a person was fired for lying on important documents, and I was yelled or heckled for my ideas everyday. Now I'm jobless and worried, but had the first good night's sleep in 6 weeks. FML
Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML
Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML
blzrdsgrl tells us more.
Turns out...she thought I was joking because "I'm never serious"...
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML
Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML
Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML
Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML
Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML
bdk_2020 tells us more.
bdk_2020 0
Ok. I've tried explaining why I did what I did, but I'm still getting the death threats and a lot of the word '****' being used to show your disdain. I would like to tell you what really happened, not because I want you on my side or I'm trying to defend what I did. I just want you to see that what happened was based on simple stupidity and not because I'm the spawn of satan. So here's you some of the stuff you've all assumed that I would like to put right: - 1. This man was not at all elderly. He must have been 45-50 years old. You don't have to be elderly to have Parkinson's Disease. See Michael J. Fox for proof of that. 2. I offered to pack for him before he started struggling himself. He was alone, so I felt I should help him. He declined. That's why I thought he could do it himself. 3. I had no idea he was suffering from arthritis or Parkinson's Disease. I'd never met him before. He was struggling to open the bags, like myself and most people do, and so I made the very stupid comment based on that. 4. No, I didn't notice the shaking associated with Parkinson's Disease. I know that people think Cashier's are all idiots, wasters and the job is really easy, but you do have to focus on the screen in front of you to check the identity and the price of the item is correct. Therefore, I was barely focusing on his movements or his mannerisms. I was just doing what I'm paid to do. 5. As soon as he told me what was wrong, and I then focused on him properly, I then noticed he had a mild tremor in his hands. 6. I immediately apologised for what I said, feeling terrible. I then opened all the bags for him and offered to pack. He declined because, like you, he thought I had made fun of him because of his disability. I tried to explain, but he didn't want to hear. 7. If I knew he was struggling because he had a medical reason for not being able to open the bags, I would never had said it and would have made him let me pack. I would hate it if I saw someone who clearly had a disability not being able to do something and I'm just standing there ignoring it - That IS evil. 8. He left angry and hurt. I was left feeling horrible and guilty for being so stupid. 9. I wanted to post the FML not to get sympathy. As I said, I felt terrbile for upsetting him, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. I wanted to show people how much of an ass I'd been that day. 10. FML is all about bad things that have happened to you or that you have done. I felt that my stupidity for saying that to a man I didn't know was an FML moment. In retrospect, I realise that the way I worded the FML sounds like I was being cruel. I can understand why you are all upset. But to say I deserve to die or have all this offensive language thrown in my direction was ok? You know nothing about me. To assume that I always behave like this, that I'm this evil, vindictive bastard, based on one stupid comment... Well, I really don't know. Furthermore, why would I post this as an FML moment if I enjoy being horrible to people? It's because I hate myself for being so stupid that I posted this. Again, I really am sorry if I offended anyone. The last thing I wanted was all of this, so I just hope this post will clears it all up.
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
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