Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML
Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML
Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML
Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
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Top comments
somesecretname 0
Or maybe he's not confident and was trying to get the response "hey, why not" because he dosen't think you'd go for someone like him ;)
Eternity_fml 0
Onion rings are good.
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Comments (150)
blink182rocks 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FIRST! Didn't even read the FML yet, but you definitely deserved it.
123sploosh 0
you moron.
TysonFawlay 0
This makes me want to stab someone, and that's not good. This is a problem in our relationship.
kewlcat 0
seriously guys, don't feed the trolls.
darren824 0
asshole
Sophia93 0
lol calm down.
Aniland 2
You realize that he was dropping a hint to you that he was SINGLE. God this is ******* stupid. YDI.
well_this_sucks 0
no... he was saying he wasnt going to kiss her [his datee]
killerviral 0
Today, this wierd chick took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders I ordered onoin rings and look at her and say, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Eternity_fml 0
Onion rings are good.
seb12992 0
What the **** #25? Not only did you just claim that onion rings are better than onion rings (same thing dumbass!), you spelled onion wrong.
mylifeisfuckedd 0
#35 you're the dumbass, #25 was making a joke because the OP spelled 'onion' as 'onoin'
cha40_fml 0
he did that because onion is spelled wrong in the post... you're the moron
kelther 0
#35, sarcasm on sarcasm. i like it!
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
U deserved it for not being able to spell "onion"
WIDRR 0
I would not want to kiss someone who can't spell onion either, i don't blame the guy.
sevlen 0
chill out it's no big deal
mikehaddad 0
onion?
Someone_somewere 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahaha that's what you get for being ugly!!
PaisleyKing90 0
hey... that was rude...
raay678 0
wtf that was rude, take alook at you're self before you say crap about other people. dick.
vanessa_nessa_08 0
hahaha that's what you get for being ugly!!
CRAZYBISCUIT 7
How can you say that?
PumaPounce 15
What's your excuse?
Fahad_fml 0
hahaha that's what you get for being ugly!!
KumoFF7 3
hahaha that's what you get for being ugly!!
brenkite 5
no that's what you get for not being able to spell onion
suckager 0
You got owned lol
somesecretname 0
Or maybe he's not confident and was trying to get the response "hey, why not" because he dosen't think you'd go for someone like him ;)
blehargh 0
Exactly, you expected your CRUSH to suddenly go head-over-heels for you and kiss you the first time he takes you out for lunch? YDI
kb26hockey 0
lol this is exactly what i thought when i read it. if you both liked each other, i could see how this could be weird. not an fml, but weird.
sexymessy 0
yeah i agree maybe he was seeing how you reacted to the thought!Maybe he's shy!!
realworldready 0
Ya'll nailed it. YDI for not seeing his obvious plea for you to correct his assumption. And for having a crush on somebody with that little game.
theINC 0
FYL for him not liking you, but definite YDI because you expected him to kiss you when you're not dating.
Khalavaster 0
He didnt have to justify his order. but...LOL owned
deaththekid_fml 0
he is just a crush so there isn't anything going between the two not a FML unless you are actually going out
ctrygirl 2
Ouch lol that had to hurt