Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML
blzrdsgrl tells us more.
Turns out...she thought I was joking because "I'm never serious"...
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML
Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML
Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML
Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML
Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML
bdk_2020 tells us more.
bdk_2020 0
Ok. I've tried explaining why I did what I did, but I'm still getting the death threats and a lot of the word '****' being used to show your disdain. I would like to tell you what really happened, not because I want you on my side or I'm trying to defend what I did. I just want you to see that what happened was based on simple stupidity and not because I'm the spawn of satan. So here's you some of the stuff you've all assumed that I would like to put right: - 1. This man was not at all elderly. He must have been 45-50 years old. You don't have to be elderly to have Parkinson's Disease. See Michael J. Fox for proof of that. 2. I offered to pack for him before he started struggling himself. He was alone, so I felt I should help him. He declined. That's why I thought he could do it himself. 3. I had no idea he was suffering from arthritis or Parkinson's Disease. I'd never met him before. He was struggling to open the bags, like myself and most people do, and so I made the very stupid comment based on that. 4. No, I didn't notice the shaking associated with Parkinson's Disease. I know that people think Cashier's are all idiots, wasters and the job is really easy, but you do have to focus on the screen in front of you to check the identity and the price of the item is correct. Therefore, I was barely focusing on his movements or his mannerisms. I was just doing what I'm paid to do. 5. As soon as he told me what was wrong, and I then focused on him properly, I then noticed he had a mild tremor in his hands. 6. I immediately apologised for what I said, feeling terrible. I then opened all the bags for him and offered to pack. He declined because, like you, he thought I had made fun of him because of his disability. I tried to explain, but he didn't want to hear. 7. If I knew he was struggling because he had a medical reason for not being able to open the bags, I would never had said it and would have made him let me pack. I would hate it if I saw someone who clearly had a disability not being able to do something and I'm just standing there ignoring it - That IS evil. 8. He left angry and hurt. I was left feeling horrible and guilty for being so stupid. 9. I wanted to post the FML not to get sympathy. As I said, I felt terrbile for upsetting him, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. I wanted to show people how much of an ass I'd been that day. 10. FML is all about bad things that have happened to you or that you have done. I felt that my stupidity for saying that to a man I didn't know was an FML moment. In retrospect, I realise that the way I worded the FML sounds like I was being cruel. I can understand why you are all upset. But to say I deserve to die or have all this offensive language thrown in my direction was ok? You know nothing about me. To assume that I always behave like this, that I'm this evil, vindictive bastard, based on one stupid comment... Well, I really don't know. Furthermore, why would I post this as an FML moment if I enjoy being horrible to people? It's because I hate myself for being so stupid that I posted this. Again, I really am sorry if I offended anyone. The last thing I wanted was all of this, so I just hope this post will clears it all up.
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
Today, I was conned out of £50,000 by my own father, who everyone thought had been dead for 3 years. FML
Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
Today, after a long shift, I came home and cleaned my house so I could relax tomorrow. I finished up the night with a soothing bubble bath, which was lovely until the ceiling collapsed into the tub. I can't even wash the filth off because my bath is full of drain-clogging plaster. FML
Today, my partner got a lockdown haircut. He now has a mullet. FML
Today, my husband’s coworker made lunch for him again complete with a “cute” note. I cook every day, but somehow this single woman finds it appropriate to cook and pack lunch for my husband. When I told him it needs to stop, he said I was being too jealous, and she’s just a nice lady. FML
Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James's "Super Freak" to me. FML
Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML
Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML
Today, I was out walking with a cute girl when we passed by a house with a Trump sign. Trying to make her laugh, I went to steal it. Turns out it was booby trapped. I got drenched by a sprinkler when I got close. FML
Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, it’s been 2 years since my highschool ex dumped me after I went to college. Since then, I fell into depression, dropped out, and am now trying to get back on my feet working at Wendy’s. Meanwhile, she’s been having the time of her life, hanging out with bands, and got rich from TikTok. FML
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML
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