Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
Today, in a crowded hallway, I saw the guy I fancy standing in front of me, with his arms open wide. Thinking he wanted to hug me, I wrapped my arms around him and stepped back. He looked at me like I was nuts. I then realised he was trying to hug the girl next to me. FML
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML
Today, I was dared to stand and hold a sign saying, "Free Hugs." This girl I'd never seen before gave me a crushing hug and cried hysterically on my shoulder in the blazing afternoon sun. I couldn't get her off. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML
Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML
Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
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Top comments
tne201992 12
She only gave you a dollar? What a cheap bitch!
MrHotShot22 6
You got your first hug and you made some money? Sounds like a good day to me.
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Comments (90)
tne201992 12
She only gave you a dollar? What a cheap bitch!
iNewKid 20
That's just pathetic.
stavrosg 3
Yeah, she should at the very least have bought you dinner. Like in a date, but she'd be paying.
gc327072 31
OP could always go to Cthulhu for free hugs.
drewcat21 0
Well take it when you can get it I guess!
thelinlinx3 10
Exactly what I thought! Could have at least been five dollars.
Arachu 5
I'm gonna say you deserved it, but in a good way. Most people should have Some good luck at some point to break their streak of bad. =)
NinjaAssasin720 0
So true
MrHotShot22 6
You got your first hug and you made some money? Sounds like a good day to me.
lolipop1234_fml 7
It wasn't his first hug, it was his first hug in ages.
Drigr 9
If she was the least bit attractive and if he was single (first hug in ages, its a safe assumption), he should've at least made out with her, if not tried to get some boob. Or, be a little more romantic if he's into her and give her the dollar back and say, "how about you keep the dollarand I'll be your boyfriend for REAL?"
lolipop1234_fml 7
Do ya not think it's a bit early to ask to be someones boyfriend, after one hug?
LiterOfCola 16
Awesome 5/20. You're just so logical! Quit being a buzzkill
lolipop1234_fml 7
At least ya got a dollar for it.
datoismyname 22
Yup now he's going to go ***** on the streets to make some extra cash
lolipop1234_fml 7
Well he could become an escort :P
annie_nk 23
12 - I pictured an aging man with a cardboard sign "will give hugs for food".
Rosicles 8
Should've gone in for the kiss.
DarkHelmet 10
Or the motorboat
aFreedom127 9
Hugs for a buck...how much for second base?
Nightwolf32 5
Forget that, how much for a home run. Making sure to do a slow walk through all the bases.
KiddNYC1O 22
Four dollars. Third is twelve. And home is $699.99.
darwinism 30
Go back to her when the other guy is there again and shove a few coins down her knickers and say "here is your change. I don't think my hug was good enough so I owe you some change".
GothickNihilist 15
Become friends with Abby Scuito and you'll have endless hugs.
Drigr 9
I wouldn't WANT those hugs to stop. She is very attractive in a mysteriously gothic sort of way. I see her listening to metal, enjoying some good action flicks, and being a bit of a gamer.
GothickNihilist 15
I know she's the coolest most adorable goth ever . As a goth , a gamer , and a geek I could only wish to be that cool. Also I would personally love a hug from Abby .^_^
XanderJayNix 17
Abby... Most, if not every, crime nerds crush :) Hard to believe she's in her 40's...
kittytub 12
65- woah, really? same with the lead actor from the big bang theory. he's 39/40. they both look twenty.
NYCBOII123 7
Cherish this moment! It's your first hug even though she paid you, which isn't bad.
Ugi 27
Getting paid for something you enjoyed doing anyway - isn't that everybody's idea of a good plan? And you never know - it might have been an opening gambit in a plan to make you her real BF. She wouldn't have chosen someone she found repulsive after all....
mikepzz 27
haha man if she's paying you then you scored big time hahaha