The Top

We met in Europe, and I currently live in England and my parents live in the States, so that's why they haven't met her yet. I still proposed, and she said yes. And yes, my dad was calling her ugly.

By We raised that fool - 06/08/2014 13:21 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 370

You deserved it 4 034

Hidden

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 12:40 - Australia - Mooroolbark

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 190

You deserved it 11 019

By fail - 15/06/2012 15:36 - United States - Greeneville

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 135

You deserved it 2 945

Strict household

By pathetic_girl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I accidentally admitted to two girls in my first year university astronomy class that I have a strict 10pm bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 961

You deserved it 34 049

Stuck in the life script

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 15:00

Today, I was talking to my dad about how I don’t think I love my fiancé anymore. He sat me down and gave me a severe talking to that amounted to, “We’re a respectable religious family, he’ll be a good husband, you’ll make babies and grow old together. You don’t need to love him to do that.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 208

By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 133

You deserved it 6 069

By taurus05 - 14/11/2009 03:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 199

You deserved it 3 349

By dorrisdoes - 28/07/2014 20:47 - New Zealand

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 10 190

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 780

You deserved it 2 801

By PrincessPromotion - 26/07/2014 16:29 - United States - Havertown

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 789

You deserved it 6 454

By Mikey - 28/04/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 486

You deserved it 46 373

By I don't condome that, babe - 24/07/2014 20:51 - United States - Lutz

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 715

You deserved it 4 311

Holy eyesight, Batman!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 264

By Anonymous - 21/05/2013 06:31 - United States - Kokomo

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 715

You deserved it 4 453

Traditional

By Vinny1017 - 07/10/2010 14:26 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 442

You deserved it 4 863

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 8 421

By amanda_ae_erin - 10/11/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 031

You deserved it 5 035

Pikachu!

By Pokémon Loser - 16/01/2025 03:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, a fresh gust of wind blew a really attractive woman's skirt up in front of me, revealing her yellow panties with Pikachu's face on it. Pulling her skirt down and giving me an evil leer, instead of apologizing, I somehow blurted out, "Pikachu!" imitating its voice. I ultimately got slapped on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 843

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 11 451

By 2234 - 04/10/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 330

You deserved it 48 516

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Drunk Embarrassing Awkward Neighbours Transportation Cars Spooky Work Annoying Noise Insects Animals Delivery Cats Roommate Clothes Job interview Childfree Parents Home improvement Homeowners Holidays Vacation Camping Stalker Grandparents Kids Health Relatable

The Top

Today, a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonald's and that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him and tried to report me to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 003

You deserved it 2 414

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 148

You deserved it 37 029

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 4 259

Today, I noticed that the longer I work from home, the more inclined my mother is to interrupting it every five or ten minutes. She says I can stay online late to make it a full 8 hours, but then gets mad when I actually do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 147

Today, my Tinder date seemed annoyed that my offer of dinner at my house really was an offer of dinner, not easy sex. Apparently, acting like a real woman with a mind and feelings, as opposed to a hole for his penis to temporarily inhabit, completely ruined his night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 507

Today, my mom found my anime drawings and tore them up because she “didn’t raise some filthy porn artist.” I admit the pictures were kind of porny, but I’m an artist and those images were done to my customer's very specific description. My mom just cost me weeks of detailed drawing and £2000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 385