Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
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Top comments
Cartera 10
Or you could do the right thing and explain what happened. Nice name though. Very original.
Pleonasm 36
What a catastrophe (had to be done)
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Comments (93)
Cartera 10
Or you could do the right thing and explain what happened. Nice name though. Very original.
Roskosity 22
How is that natural?
Roskosity 22
How is that even remotely natural?
Roskosity 22
Yeah. That's name has a lot to do with his FML.
Ambient25 25
#38 "That's?" Really?? Anyway about OP, I still don't get this. Why FML it instead of just being honest or at least thinking about what he did. It's like he's comfortable with it..
Roskosity 22
Oh **** off. Don't tell me you haven't bean autocorrected incorrectly before.
carmbees 12
"This is 2013". Dead.
Pleonasm 36
What a catastrophe (had to be done)
Wizardo 34
You've got to be kitten me. That cat must be feline awful. (Had to be done as well)
klovemachine 24
He's committed the purrrrrfect crime :D
RedPillSucks 33
don't be redonkulous
SoulAmeliorate 16
I'm feline a little odd due to these cataclysmic puns.
Cartera 10
You all are so immapurrrrr
hugozac88 22
#27 Lol I don't think you understood what was going on but that's ok because it still made me laugh a little
Pussycat86 18
Anyone calling my name?
Silly_Lilly6969 23
**** the cats life!! Poor babies /:
ThatsMyPie 20
Why not just admit that you made a mistake and give the sick cat the medicated stuff, too? Admittedly, you'll have two sleeping cats, but at least they're both alive and in fine condition.
lilhellian 27
Both cats sleeping, not meowing, not getting in your face. Sounds like a win to me! :D
SlapAndTickle 20
Getting in your face? More like them jumping on your lap and showing you their cinnabun. ( It's what I call cat's buttholes.)
JFloUnknown 24
haha cinnabun. I'm so stealing that. I have three cats so I know how it is.
SobrietyKills 14
It would have been more responsible of you to tell the owner. You don't know if there are any other side effects to the medication. YDI
SlapAndTickle 20
To make what look natural exactly?
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*facepalm* R.I.P. reading comprehension.
SlapAndTickle 20
I'm wondering if there was too much sedation and if he killed the cat? My cats don't pass out drinking milk so that seems a bit dumb to me. So I'm sorry you didn't follow my question and instead questioned my intelligence.
Enslaved 38
Maybe there's something lost in the translation because I don't get it either. What does spilt milk on the head have to do with making a sleeping/knock out cat look natural?
SlapAndTickle 20
Absolutely nothing. Hence why I was thinking he killed the cat maybe?? I don't know, this FML is dumb all around.
Ryuukazuki 7
Not really about not comprehending it. I took it that it meant as in "how the hell does spilling milk make a knocked out, medicated cat look natural?" Because I am confused about that as well. Unless it is that the bowls were in the room and he wanted to make it look as if the cat accidently drank from the wrong bowl and got knocked out. But that is the only way it makes sense to me. It never clarifies so it is easy to not understand that part.
Enslaved 38
My cat always lands on his feet, except that one time I threw him three stories high. Yeah, won't ever do that again. I'm also going to hell. :P
SlapAndTickle 20
You do realize I'm asking OP in hopes of a better explanation right? Because ya' know sometimes they answer. Yes, you have one wild imagination. >.>
Octwo 16
15 - Your hypocrisy is showing.
Enslaved 38
I'm kinda waiting for 15 to reply. I won't hold my breast.
SlapAndTickle 20
I will if you need someone to hold your breasts, but if you meant breath...awkwaaard. ;P
SlapAndTickle 20
I'll hold your breasts for you. Jiggle jiggle jiggle.
Shiningstartp 9
Well then can I hold your breast?
kissandcontrol01 20
#50.. It's actually 298 characters. Doesn't matter much, but you still have a good point!
Enslaved 38
Oops! My bad. I was just being an annoying attention *****. :P
faint0fhearts 16
Most likely going to hell with cats torturing you for revenge... Have fun
JFloUnknown 24
I thought you said tutoring at first. I don't know which is worse...
BlueMoonCafe 12
Since it was an accident, the best thing to do would just be to tell the owner. I would want to know if something like that happened to my cat.
Welshite 40
You've sound like you've had experience. Do you frame people and animals often?
spaboolly 26
If it was an honest mistake and no permanent harm was done, then just own up to what you did and apologize. Mistakes happen. Covering them up, especially in such a ridiculous way, just makes you look like an immature, irresponsible ass.