Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said, "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML
Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
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Top comments
ashiezorz 2
You're the dick who suggested 'Sausage Face'.
aback 5
Why give him the ammo? Just tell him, "Okay. You call me Pup, and I'll call you Dickless".
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Comments (76)
SykoOne 0
LMFAOO , well , you diserved it man :)
The_Pleb 0
Sorry ill let you finish but.... Diserved is an incorrect spelling. It should be "deserved" Thankyou and I hope I helped.
ParaplegicPony 0
Haha wow you're a prick. and on topic, I thought bowling alleys only allowed 4 letters for the name?
renaet 0
Some only display 3 to 4 letters but you can insert your full name. Usually only the newer Brunswick alleys have this feature though.
myfriend_youfail 3
Sorry to call you a hypocrite, but the word is "I'll", not "ill". We mustn't forget our punctuation. ;)
fringle 0
And also Thank You is two words. Aha!
Watchmaker 2
Also, "sorry" should have a comma after it, and a number of periods are needed in that post, to say nothing of ending a sentence fragment in a 4-period attempt at an ellipsis. I understand people critiquing grammar and/or spelling on this site, but they should learn to do it without making errors themselves. (and I think I comma spliced here; forgive me, spirits of english teachers past)
FreddyLunch 0
You shouldn't put a comma before an "and", it's bad grammar. "I understand people critiquing grammar and/or spelling on this site, but they should learn to do it without making errors themselves."
rangerx 0
The comma before the "and" in the first sentence is appropriate, because the "and" is acting as a coordinating conjunction for a compound sentence. You can determine this, because both clauses being linked are independent.
juicyfruit23 0
are people seriously correcting the grammar? wow.
guitarman1998 0
none lifee at allz!...
allmidnighteyes 11
hey there, sausage face :]
jasonsaied 1
haha y would the op suggest "sausage face"?
V4ZQU3Z 0
63 cuz she likes the sausege in her face! Yeee XD
Stand_Up 0
There ya go xD
ashiezorz 2
You're the dick who suggested 'Sausage Face'.
flighted 1
well, sausage face IS a better name than 'Pup.'
pleura 0
Ugh, exes. Still, you did walk right into that.
cheezeits 0
seriously! Pup is an endearing nickname.
marc_with_a_c 3
Hahaha well at least your ex listens to what you tell him ;)
Mauskau 36
somehow i read this as boyfriend
neonokku 0
me too
T_McGee 0
Wtf does "pup" mean?
Kylias 6
"Pup" is similar to "Puppy".
allie2590 31
It's better than something like "evil bitch."
rosemary_fml 5
i see why he's your ex.
padlarf 14
Way to go, Pup.
Aha09 1
Genius! :D