Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML
Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
Today, I was on my Wheel of Time fanfiction roleplay chatting seductively with my virtual lover while taking a break from doing some work, only to realize that I had accidentally sent the revenue report to my fellow fanfiction lover and used magic to undress my boss. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A big turn-off is the unexpected period.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Don't forget the improper use of colons!
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Comments (126)
talkingtwaddle 1
How very sad.
zykrithium 22
What's really sad is that OP calls fanfiction "erotic literature"
Erin_VanDerWoods_fml 4
Wow ! Epic Fail :)
BunchieRules 31
Real-life Grammar Nazis... we meet again! You weren't reading Fifty Shades of Grey, were you? o.O Irregardless, you shouuld become an editor or publisher's assistant if it bothers you to that extent.
GothicAngel17 24
*twitches at the use of "irregardless"*
BunchieRules 31
15 - I'm so glad you noticed. At my mention of FMyLife's many real-life grammar Nazis, I simply had to throw it in there somewhere. ;D
BunchieRules 31
Whoops! While mentioning grammar Nazis, I somehow found a way to sneak in an extra "u" in shouuld... Beat you to it.
mariah_victoria 0
Shit got real real quick.
tony1891 22
that's a first.
isaiaah 6
No, actually, it has probably happened to a lot of people.
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
Not really a first. I do it as well.
esines 9
I don't know if Id call it cockblocking when you were going to flog the dolphin to a book, instead of having real sex with a real life girl.
miss_madison 10
I do the same thing. Except I'm a chick.
poesraven1984 6
So glad to know I'm not the only one. Yep, it happens to me, too. This generally means that unless it's published, and sometimes even then, I can't really read erotic literature. Maybe I should offer to edit their stories...
perdix 31
A big turn-off is the unexpected period.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Don't forget the improper use of colons!
carlovr435 10
34, That can be taken in two very different ways.
perdix 31
#34, in that realm, another turn-off is going in for anal, only to find that the girl has Crohn's Diesase and only has a semi-colon ;)
Gregory607 1
47 you tried to hard 42 that was the point because 4's comment was the same way
G0v3nat0r 7
^^ too*
SCBeauty1983 0
Seriously, one of the best comments I've ever read on FML! *claps*
Halti 4
legend
thatgirlinoregon 21
Perdix, what a foul preposition! Shame on you.
bootyful86 7
Perdix is always hilarious
Ray_of_midnight 23
A bigger turnoff would be a missed period.
AKGirlinSD 20
Maybe it has been too long since you orgasmed, therefore, you were easily turned on? I would stick to ****, if I were you, so you're guaranteed a good time while getting yourself off.
afropuffjake 9
Something tells me you turned to books after several nights were cut short by you correcting your one night stand in the heat of the moment?
22cute 17
If you don't understand the appeal of erotic stories for females you should really keep your mouth shut and learn something instead of taking shots at the Op.
llamafish 25
It's called a joke?
thatKidzmOm 10
30-a bit sensitive, huh? Seems almost inevitable that most posters will take a crack at the OP.
22cute 17
30 - I can see where you might think that. But, no I just find authentic discussion more entertaining than slapstick. Get it?
jizzwold 21
A lot of people do but you aren't going to find it in the comments of a website mostly populated by teenagers.
bizarre_ftw 22
Where does it say op is female? I'm not saying girls can't enjoy **** - I'm not an idiot - but why turn this into another WWII (Woe is to Women, Incarcerate Imbeciles) battle with out even a spark for it?
zandalee 20
Keep it simple then! Grab a Playboy mag! You are thinking too much OP!!
GothicAngel17 24
You know for some reason I got the idea that OP is a chick, and if that's correct then I don't think playboy is going to help.
zandalee 20
I don't know about that, I am female & I find them quite sexy to look at...
GothicAngel17 24
I've never looked at a playboy magazine myself, but isn't it full of naked women? Sorry but unless you're not straight then that's not exactly a turn on lol.
zandalee 20
I'm straight as... Don't knock it till you try it... Lol
Shadow_Phantom 26
You're not straight if you're a female who is turned on by other women.
zandalee 20
Oh please
thatgirlinoregon 21
14 & 22- I'm a straight woman, and I can appreciate attractive women; I don't think it's odd, since females are generally the 'prettier' sex. I don't get turned on by girls, but I will totally stare at a hot chick and be like, "damn! Work it, girl!"
22cute 17
22- please, real life is not so easily defined and pigeonholed. 9- the female imagination is better than any pic. And thinking ain't so bad - try it maybe! Op - you need to find a better class of book. Or find someone sexy to read it aloud to you.
bizarre_ftw 22
31 - dyslexic moment? You mean 6, 9 is perdix
haj_fml 4
You've spelt 'grammatical' wrong.
perdix 31
And that made me lose my boner!
BunchieRules 31
Congrats, Didi. You have successfully made the notorious Bunchie laugh. I tip my hat to you.
Caliborn_06 11
He spelt it right, stupid.
GVirdi 11
Spelled*
22cute 17
Read*
BunchieRules 31
26 - Yes, but only after Didi corrected it. Originally it said "gramatical", which is quite ironic, considering OP is being a grammar Nazi and a drama queen.
ManInTheMachine 20
26-I don't even....*deep sigh* Didi-Can we create an eject button for idiots that kicks them from the FML? Just curious. Actually, a facepalm button would probably be more satisfying.
VeganVampyre 27
33- it's not ironic. OP's issue was with incorrect grammar, not spelling. So they can misspell the crap out of whatever they want, and as long as the grammar is correct, it'll be fine :D
perdix 31
#19, sorry, Didi, but yes, you did ;) Thanks, bro!
BunchieRules 31
37 - I suppose you're right, but I'm sure OP is also obsessed with conventions, because the two seem to go hand in hand. Most grammar Nazis correct any errors they find in a post, including bad spelling. And I just thought it was ironic because while the OP is babbling on about grammar, s/he didn't even notice the errors in the post.
phamous 1
#7 serious fail..grammatical isn't spelled incorrectly.
False_Stupidity 42
*rolls eyes at 109* How about you go back and read comment 19 under this one then stop, reboot brain and try again.
GothicAngel17 24
If you were reading off a website, that's to be expected. Also, you spelt grammatical wrong ;) I bet that's killing you!
alissa222 15
Actually, many of the online ones are written better than actual published books. *coughfiftyshadesofgreycough*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"N den she orgasmed fifty-leven times n becamez mah smex slave!!!" You sure about that, dude?
rin142 12
I'm quite fond of that "Literotica" site myself. Most of them are littered with grammatical and spelling errors, but there are quite a few good stories.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
87) There's one that actually touched my heart(strangely enough). It was incest, something I'm usually not into, but the writing skill was amazing. Name: Words on Skin
yumgranolabar 5
That seems to be happening lately in the FML world.
the_true_batman 10
This has happened to me too. It gets you out of the moment when you realize that whoever wrote the story is an idiot.
twisted_cherub 14
Me, too. I don't even bother anymore. It's not just the grammar and spelling, either; the stories seldom make sense. Also, what ever happened to description? What about build up before climax? Do these "writers" not know what foreplay is? Ugghh! Damn it, now I'm upset.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
This is probably something I'd do.... I catch mistakes in ANYTHING! The other day I went to a college to check it out and a sign on the door spelled "conference" wrong... I'm not sure how it was spelled, but I was very appalled. Hello, it's a college! Don't they know how to spell?!
XtraEzeee 8
Build up before climax.. Hehe. Sorry, had to say it.
Penguinsama 7
That is why I usually have a pen and/or a pencil near by so I can make a mark in my book.