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I feel the need to clear up some of this discussion! First of all--thanks to all these anon. people for defending me. I honestly submitted this immediately after getting the phone call @ 8:30 am, never thinking it'd be posted. Secondly-- is he a bad guy? No. I'm sure if being a cop is what he wants to do, and has his heart in it, he'll do great at his job. As far as the disrespect: it got to a point where I wasn't valued as a person, and some very vulgar, vile, rude and hurtful things were said/done to me, that wouldn't have been done if I was respected for who I am. If I was seen as a human with a heart and feelings, these things wouldn't have been done. Can I say that this will never happen to another female? No. Do I think he's pure evil? No. Saying bad things would have been purely vengeful and ruined a potential career. Also, I wasn't listed a reference, they required names and phone numbers of "significant relationships"--- I was asked if there was ever an assault between us, and about his moral character. That's it. I've had a seriously great laugh over realizing this was actually posted, and loved reading all the comments. Thanks!

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 523

You deserved it 3 260

Great prank guys, love it

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:12 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 220

You deserved it 4 047

Caught

By fuck - 09/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 488

You deserved it 5 287

So wrong

By Anonymous - 15/06/2020 08:09

Today, my boyfriend came over to meet my family. When I told him I had an autistic brother before he came in, he immediately broke up with me because he claimed autism is another word for overprotective. I've been dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 244

By sickly - 18/02/2011 13:06

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 566

You deserved it 4 356

By WinkleBottom - 04/11/2013 22:01 - United States

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 743

You deserved it 5 760

WinkleBottom tells us more.

WinkleBottom 13

Tuesday 5 November 2013 3:17

Breath or body odor isn't the issue. I'm just a quiet kid in a room of loud ones. I guess I'm boring, eh? Also, no, I do not stick my penis in fish tacos.

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 998

You deserved it 53 838

Goddamn it

By Kaluhaluha - 25/08/2018 13:00

Today, I came back from a 700-mile round trip. I hit a massive pothole I couldn't avoid and blew out a tire and bent my rim. I was less than a mile from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 234

By babyblues - 20/11/2012 19:45 - United States - Woodhaven

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 906

You deserved it 31 041

The hustler

By Anonymous - 23/11/2019 01:00

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 327

You deserved it 215

By Emily - 17/12/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 133

You deserved it 4 607

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 12:23 - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 137

You deserved it 2 519

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 975

You deserved it 6 297

Classic Mom

By secret - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 485

You deserved it 2 308

Bummer

By Plush - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, a work colleague announced that she's organising a bit of a party. She then said, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited, to "avoid ruining the vibe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 682

You deserved it 2 850

By OutOfMyMind - 22/10/2013 00:12 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 893

You deserved it 12 066

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 827

You deserved it 20 462

Green fingers

By Alyxandrea Loffer - 09/07/2020 17:02

Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 463

By Female_Lucifer - 20/10/2013 13:02 - United States - New Lebanon

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 404

You deserved it 5 189

By EnglishLearner - 09/11/2012 16:23 - Switzerland - Mannedorf

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 853

You deserved it 8 131

Early wake-up

By Bir - 08/12/2019 14:00 - Nepal

Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 179

By shocked1 - 07/01/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 808

You deserved it 11 065

By Eggs6131 - 15/10/2013 13:09 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 368

You deserved it 3 330

Eggs6131 tells us more.

Eggs6131 14

Wednesday 20 November 2013 13:39

For all the people who don't get it, my brother recorded about a minute's worth of silence on his little MP3 player, so he could listen to said recording at full volume. He thought if he listened to this recording of nothingness on a loop at full volume, it would make his earphones act like earplugs, cancelling out any noise made. #8, still laughing at that "I'm sorry? I can't hear you for all this silence blasting in my ears". #22, he's fifteen :