Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Well dang how long did you stay down there "picking up your phone"? Your dad was young once, he is one step a head of you.
datgamerchick 14
"But dad! I dropped my phone in his pants, I swear!"
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Comments (77)
BeccaHugs 17
If you only leaned down one time it should be kinda obvious that wasn't the case.
subwaysurfers 13
Isn't it kinda creepy the dad was just staring at them from a distance?
boxbrandon11 20
Sucks to suck ;)
boxbrandon11 20
Sucks to suck ;)
gc327072 31
17- yea, the dad was probably like "dafuq did I just witness."
guckylynn 19
Not to mention leaning down to pick something up should look differently than if OP's face was directly in the boyfriends crotch.
JBChristian 47
Now that's why your man should've leaned down a got it for you, or just stepped out of the car and got it for you. With gentlemen, things like this don't happen often.
ICastillo 25
Well dang how long did you stay down there "picking up your phone"? Your dad was young once, he is one step a head of you.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Pun intended :L? I bet came to OP's dad as quite a surprise ;)
ICastillo 25
Yeah he must have been blown away by seeing that.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
bet it came*
besosforme 26
I bet the thought must have been hard for your dad to swallow.
datgamerchick 14
"But dad! I dropped my phone in his pants, I swear!"
jamalamadingdong 18
"And I had to grab it with my mouth because I just had my nails done and didn't want to ruin them"
BeccaHugs 17
That blows. *runs from angry FMLers with shotguns*
ICastillo 25
Hmm #4 you put yourself in a sticky situation.
lilhellian 27
4 It isn't the ones with shotguns to worry about.. It's the snipers and stranglers to worry about.. There may just be one in this thread.. >:}
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
What an adorable puppy! *gets shot admiring the puppy*
ICastillo 25
Hmmm so we meet again little puppy....this is a good old fashioned Mexican stand off.
metalguy95 11
BANG * blows end of barrel*
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Is this a war of the FMLers?! >:) *Breaks out chainsaw*
lilhellian 27
Well well icastilo.. *prepares to draw*
gc327072 31
A standoff? *Plays overly zealous trumpet music from The Legend Of Zorro*
ICastillo 25
Yes lilhellian it's all ends here *also prepares to draw*
lilhellian 27
*Hears the clock tower bell and fires striking your neck*
ghirahim 5
*chases behind on a flame tank*
CTMPandemonium 16
Both these comments just made my day!! Lol
dalink 24
Yay flame tank!!
TallMist 32
Somehow, that put the image of a tank from Left 4 Dead on fire with a gun chasing the survivors.
obviousboy 8
You should have trolled him and wiped your mouth afterwards.
samasara 20
Her trolling would probably cause her to get grounded! If OP isn't too old for that..
RedPillSucks 33
And those stains on your blouse was just mayonnaise from the sandwich you ate earlier.
ManInTheMachine 20
I bet you were just finishing off your "milkshake" too, huh? We all know what that 'milk' mustache is, OP.
zandalee 20
Ewwwww!
AverageIsh 2
Better than a white crown I suppose
ryankon518 3
Your boyfriend should have picked it up for you... that's what gentlemen do.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Wouldn't that be masturbation?
zingline89 18
So that's what phone sex is like.
klovemachine 24
Lol :D
ohSNAPyall 27
Picking up good vibrations.
Selphis 20
That's gotta be one awkward talk!!