Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
beautiful_mayhem 0
Oh to be a fly on the wall when the shit hit the fan! That sucks for you and I'd get myself tested now to be sure he wasn't giving you any "presents" from the other woman!
mehwhateverr 0
yes, because she's supposed to be a psychic and know he's a cheater, dammit! sarcasm alert. and you're an idiot.
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Comments (199)
Nothingness1 3
Oh that sucks. FYL.
BurpusMe 0
You know what they say: Threeing is Believing!
rjrudman 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your BF probably creamed his pants when he first walked out, then realized who it was. Oh, and YDI it for being out of the kitchen
neonokku 0
Creepy!
nonotme 0
"Today, I discovered I'm bi and my boyfriend is cheating on me. Don't know if FML or LML......"
trollskitroll 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Back to the kitchen bitch. You should be happy he let you into his bedroom when he wasnt ******* you. YDI
HahaYDI 0
I agree with 77 on this one.
kindofgocrazy 0
LML?
whoakryspyy 0
I'm assuming it's Love My Life. But I could be wrong
nam3 0
well that wuld have made him happy YDI
psych21 0
This reminds me of the song It Wasn't Me by Shaggy. "How could I forget that I had given her an extra key."
mzbabygurl97 0
"picture this we were caught redhanded banging on the bathroom floor" that shaggy?
mzbabygurl97 0
Im sorry lyrics typo. :( "PICTURE THIS WE WERE BOTH BUTT NAKED BANGING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR" And to make my point shall i continue? "How could i forget that i had given her and extra key, All this time she was standing there, She never took her eyes off me" This Fml is so,so fake! You should have at least apologize to Shaggy for putting his lyrics to your bad use. :/
mzbabygurl97 0
Im sorry again people. "an extra key"
ilovefatcats 12
OP did I find out when u touched her boob ROTFLMFAO!
NatDancer2010 0
..forget that I had given her an extra key, all this time she was standing there she never took her eyes off me.....
NatDancer2010 0
dangit never fails 69 is always my number or in my number ugh
mayumm 0
Why did u sneak into his house? Noisy.
Hoplaka 0
We weren't made to be your housekeeper, maid, or chef! I'd like to see 2 men trying to make a baby. Haha!!
F_fatchick_lives 0
Go you!
greenltrn2003 0
lmao...exactly! im pretty sure he was nervous cuz he got caught cheating...but then he prolly realized that this might be his only chance...
YungMarlon23 0
well seems somone might wanna be single for a while.
moonlight_daze 8
Or someone will immediately find a "rebound" guy. And someone will treat this new guy like he's the same asshole that someone's previous boyfriend was.
happyvalleygirl 0
so says #52, the bitter ex-boyfriend
organismal 0
cool story, bro
BioProject 0
Time for a rousing threesome.
nolimitfme 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Btw...is she hot?
hk_fml 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh shit. I hope you beat the hell out of him and ripped his balls off. FYL.
F_fatchick_lives 0
Because that would help....
EprahsHteb 2
Even though it really sucks that she's getting cheated on, that's DEFINITELY going a little too far.. Jeez :/ But yeah, FYL. I really hope you broke up with that asshole.
obiwanshinobi900 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Its her own damn fault for dating a cheater.
mehwhateverr 0
yes, because she's supposed to be a psychic and know he's a cheater, dammit! sarcasm alert. and you're an idiot.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Agreed @ #6 - that guy should have been happy to have a chick so willing and creative. I hope she smashed his face into the mirror and kicked the other chick out into the street naked.
Pandaloverr 0
Why would she do that !?! The other girl would be sad && she was just felt up on so I am sure she and her are friends now(:
arauzfernando1 14
That's too much
DownFaLL57 23
I thought it said friend and was wondering why you were being a dick
beautiful_mayhem 0
Oh to be a fly on the wall when the shit hit the fan! That sucks for you and I'd get myself tested now to be sure he wasn't giving you any "presents" from the other woman!
bobleheadNS 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for sneaking into ur boy freinds house.... thats just fuked up..... especialy the part where you were going to sleep with him and feel him..... O.O
freudxslipped 0
... most normal couples really wouldn't be bothered by that. And if she had the extra key, it was most likely because the boyfriend gave it to her. LOL
genius_man16 1
Yeah... what's the big deal about that? I'd find it pretty sexy if my girl decided to surprise me by crawling into my bed with me on an early saturday morning... especially if she had her own key. It would be a bit creepy if she didn't.
perstephane 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just because your significant other has a key doesn't mean you're giving them permission to come over unnanounced all the time. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to walk in on me waxing, having a personal conversation with a family member, or making a business call. If, on the other hand, he said she could come over whenever, that would be fine.
ndvorsky 4
Of it was an announced visit you wouldn't need a key
sk8erboy_fml 0
yes rip his balls off and shove em in the girls mouth
danielrp34 7
I like where this is going..... :D
castano10 0
you know it