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By Thanks Santa - 17/12/2016 05:24

Today, 3 weeks after leaving my job, buying a larger car and moving to Ohio so my boyfriend could be near his family, he secretly drove my car and all my belongings back across several states just to break up with me. This was completely out of the blue while I was home visiting family for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 585

You deserved it 577

Copycat

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Nuneaton

Today, I found out that my fiancé's sister, who only got engaged a couple of months ago, is getting married before us. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't planning her wedding to be exactly like ours will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 111

You deserved it 2 008

By i hit a cyclist - 27/05/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 106

You deserved it 25 645

By Nikki - 08/06/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 268

By welcometomylife - 23/05/2017 12:00 - Germany - Hanover

Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 959

You deserved it 383

By datgirl92 - 24/05/2013 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 307

You deserved it 19 698

Relax

By lyssthemiss - 22/09/2015 10:51 - United States - Joliet

Today, I was taking a bath after a long day at work. I closed my eyes and listened to music. My cat thought this was the perfect time to come out of his hiding spot and jump in the bath. Once he realized it was filled with water, he freaked out and dug his claws into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 814

You deserved it 2 332

Relatable reasoning

By Jake - 10/03/2021 23:00

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 14:00

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 349

The best cat

By Nyxilia - 07/12/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 436

You deserved it 683

By myrkes - 10/09/2015 11:09 - Switzerland - Marstetten

Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 184

You deserved it 3 050

Close to you

By Angel - 25/10/2016 20:54

Today, while out to dinner with my adult daughter, I told her I look at her Twitter because it helped me to feel close to her since she rarely calls or visits. When I got home from dinner and looked at her Twitter, she had set it to private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 928

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 06:33 - United States

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 661

You deserved it 79 955

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 957

You deserved it 2 931

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 580

By myanmarkaviar - 27/08/2015 16:34 - Norway - Fl?

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 896

You deserved it 2 208

By Oops - 13/09/2016 18:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I managed to stop my supervisor from falling into a trench, only for the ground to give way and for me to fall in instead. My supervisor didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 015

You deserved it 861

By mista hunna - 08/09/2016 05:31 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 508

You deserved it 1 585

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 685

You deserved it 16 465

By anon... - 26/08/2016 04:10 - United States - Washington

Spicy

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him, so he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 1 075

Thanks for nothing

By Downinthedumps - 14/08/2016 22:44 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 412

You deserved it 1 134

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 12:40 - Canada - Toronto

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 904

You deserved it 1 552

By Jack - 09/08/2016 00:23 - United States - Asheville

Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 000

You deserved it 1 364

Secret Weeb

By chickennbenchpress - 31/05/2011 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in, in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It's the Pokémon theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 076

You deserved it 81 642

By so embarrassing - 02/08/2016 06:27 - United States - Renton

Today, I got so anxious while trying to fight the ticket I got earlier this month that I passed out in front of the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 628

You deserved it 1 537

How the turntables…

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 3 485

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 191

By naesha - 17/03/2014 01:40 - United States - Jackson

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 744

You deserved it 3 935

naesha tells us more.

naesha 13

Monday 17 March 2014 14:45

hey guys. Thanks for the positive comments. I guess she dididn't didn't realize I was his wife. Ib had twin a month ago and I brought them to the office. Here is when she sit down and decided to play with the boys. She went on to tell me about the affair & that shit is expecting. as for what I done I got up and left. I'm currently packing as I type.

Love is strange

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 22:00

Today, I learned that, just like in the movies, your ex-boyfriend can eventually wind up being your stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 149

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 891

You deserved it 367

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Today, after talking to the man whose car I scratched, we agreed that the damages and cost of repair were so low and instead of me paying I just buy him coffee. When I showed up he saw me, decided I was too ugly to have coffee with, and instead demanded full payment in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 221

You deserved it 1 418

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 849

You deserved it 5 767

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 3 002

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 625

You deserved it 8 265

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 805

You deserved it 8 585

Today, we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 314

You deserved it 265