Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML
Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
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Top comments
duduv2 20
wow that just made him look stupid you still got a chance with her.
IvyChennyChen 21
you definitely deserve a date OP best of luck and please follow up ^~^
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Comments (59)
CommentKing207 23
Ex's can be terrible. Sorry OP.
CommentKing207 23
Even worse if it is a crushes ex. They can be jealous assholes.
CommentKing207 23
Exes*
NotGabe 28
For future references, you can edit comments you made up to 120 seconds after posting so you won't have to respond to yourself.
Miss_Chevious 37
For someone who calls himself comment king, you certainly didn't grasp the art of commenting.
CommentKing207 23
#18 read my bio
CommentKing207 23
#14 yeah I didn't know that. Sorry for any inconveniences with you guys. I don't exactly have amazing grammar at 2 in the morning
duduv2 20
wow that just made him look stupid you still got a chance with her.
welpwelpwelp 16
GUYS I GOT A DATE WITH HER HOLY SHIT
grimpeeper 13
Nice.
CommentKing207 23
Especially if it's a crushes ex.
Miss_Chevious 37
you replied to yourself four times and still managed to incorrectly write crush's ex
CommentKing207 23
You really live up to your name #17
CommentKing207 23
#41 yes I know
Schala360 27
That gives you something to talk about the next time you see her
Miss_Chevious 37
"Yeah hey, remember the time your drunken ex puked all over me? Good times..." er no. That is super awkward. **** OP's life.
nomrana 14
Why is her ex still there ? Is she still in touch wif him? If yes... then she's a no no
gracehi 33
Because exes absolutely never maintain the same circles of friends?
JustinJK 21
Should have thrown up on him in return!
Eyalsh 32
well, you broke the ice and the tension. go up to her next time you see her and just ask her again. i think she won't decline if she's been with an asswipe before.
MrThump 16
Bummer dude. Tell the **** to buy you a new shirt. Oh and hope you get the chance to ask the girl out again.
gosh_mate 30
Did you still get a chance later to ask her out? :)
Kidjazzin 17
Did she still say yes? :)