Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML
Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
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Top comments
beckiebear 15
Party with grandma! You should have just drank with her and taken a cab home. Live it up, OP!
pistachiopanda 19
Ever stop to think that she invited you out of pity? Harsh.
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Comments (64)
beckiebear 15
Party with grandma! You should have just drank with her and taken a cab home. Live it up, OP!
patrickalamo 48
Your Granny rocks!!!
pistachiopanda 19
Ever stop to think that she invited you out of pity? Harsh.
tomwantssnow 14
That, or she really needed a DD
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
Pity party!! :D
Opheliae 22
Did you win anything?
Gingerette 8
Crazy grandparents these days are more interesting than I am..
PoofTopComment 4
And were supposed to feel bad for you? I wish my grandma's was like that!
xSkittle 16
At least you had something to do! And grandma had a good time, yay for her!
cmorgan119 10
Next time trick your sibling into being the DD and party with your grandma.
purebliss_fml 19
New bingo drinking game: Take a shot every time a number is called.
EdenCrystal 21
:O But what if you got too drunk to realize you got a bingo?!?
Nordrag 26
keep drinking
cuppycakeslove 20
Damn your grandma needs to teach me how to party
Mynamewontfi 40
At least she was responsible enough to get a designated driver. You would've otherwise spend the night playing with cheese graters and dicks anyways.