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Long time coming

By That was twelve years ago - 23/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 298

By meggiemouse - 09/07/2011 18:00 - United States

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 815

You deserved it 14 415

RIP

By Anon - 11/09/2023 17:00 - New Zealand

Today, while on a nature hike with friends. I tried to take a selfie at the edge of a cliff with the majestic view as a backdrop, but I slipped and dropped my phone. It's now RIP (resting in pieces) at the bottom of a ravine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 1 144

Stinky

By mechgineer - 14/09/2023 18:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, my wife is 20 weeks pregnant and today is the first day that my natural, clean scent makes her nauseous. We don’t have somewhere else I can sleep and we both work from home. Twenty more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 146

Breakout

By Jennifer - 28/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview. The night before, I'd noticed a small pimple forming on my chin and did everything I could to make it go away. During the interview, I couldn’t focus on anything except the giant pimple that had sprouted on my forehead. I spent the entire time trying to keep my fringe in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 137

By Username - 07/07/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at 3 o'clock. I allowed thirty minutes for the drive, but when I put my key in the ignition, the car wouldn't start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 525

You deserved it 4 454

Send me some money

By ShouldHaveBeenKing - 16/06/2022 06:00 - Australia - Annandale

Today, I discovered that I'm actually descended from wealthy and powerful landowners in Bangladesh. I live in a two-bedroom rented flat and work as an admin in a daycare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 205

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 98

By jerk_ex_boyfriend - 21/04/2013 13:33 - United States - Narberth

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 466

You deserved it 6 181

Faithfull

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 00:02

Today, my date walked out on me after I told him I was devout in my beliefs, including saving myself until marriage. Apparently, meeting me at Sunday services didn’t twig him to my faith, and he actually thought religious girls were all secret sluts like in the pornos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 375

Do it again

By BracesSuck - 09/04/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 609

You deserved it 3 218

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 999

Hero worship

By Anonymous - 01/06/2022 12:00

Today, my date walked out on me during our first encounter when he found out my prosthetic leg wasn’t the result of "fighting terrorists to protect democracy", but a splinter that went septic and caused gangrene. Apparently I’m no longer heroic enough for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 159

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 231

By Lovelysister - 21/10/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I texted my brother saying, "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he replied, "You better not be doing drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 037

You deserved it 9 764

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 791

You deserved it 5 503

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 40 223

By jessica238 - 08/04/2009 05:38 - Canada

Today, I bought a new purple shirt and decided to wear it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I looked pretty good in it. Then I got home and realized I left the sticker on. I had an "XL" sticker on my boob all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 990

You deserved it 47 349

Home to roost

By Anonymous - 10/04/2021 00:30

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling several people that my fiancé and I will be moving into her house for the foreseeable future. All because we're moving to a city close by for jobs and are still searching for housing. I found this out from several of the people she told. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 140

Brenda and me

By Not Brenda - 15/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was venting to a friend over Whatsapp about my annoying coworker when I realised I'd sent it to said coworker (always check which chat you are in while typing). I'd said, "I’m convinced Brenda is either possessed or just doesn't know how to be a normal human." I deleted it, but it was too late, as she replied with a smiley emoji and, “Can I help with anything, asshole?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 719

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 158

You deserved it 2 238

Confused?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 648

You deserved it 6 040

Faulty logic

By hhhhhhhh - 28/09/2023 06:00

Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 118

By My__life___ - 21/05/2014 00:53 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out that the built in lighter in my car does NOT in fact glow red when hot. I now have circles burned into my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 460

You deserved it 29 235

Dude, you OK?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 00:23 - United States

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 682

You deserved it 6 051

By moduschic - 19/10/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, at work, this woman came up to my counter and handed me a gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said, "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 910

You deserved it 17 531

Appeal to nature

By Anonymous - 29/06/2022 16:00

Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 273

Snap, crackle, and pop

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 115

Nice guy

By Amy - 28/06/2022 06:00

Today, three weeks after I gave birth to a stillborn, my now ex-husband told me he’s leaving me for his pregnant coworker. It’s his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 163

Stepdad woes

By Djdjfj - 22/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 115

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The Top

Today, I sent my grandfather a picture of me because he hasn't seen me in years. I guess I should wear makeup next time, because he sent back a heavily photoshopped and cropped version and told me how beautiful I look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 423

You deserved it 961

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 266

You deserved it 12 630

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 181

You deserved it 6 904

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 4 526

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 635

You deserved it 23 411

Today, I had a dream in which an electrical outlet began spewing water. It then spoke to me, "You’re not telling ANYONE about this." I then woke up with laryngitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 132