Today, it's my birthday, and like every other Sunday, my wife's been called into work, and I'm left with our three toddlers and yesterday's mess to clean up. It's raining. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML
Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After I chose a restaurant, made a reservation, and organised a babysitter, I've been sitting here alone for over an hour, still waiting for my husband to show up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML
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Top comments
Jon Tessler 14
enjoy your birthday, take care of the kids, clean the house. face facts, you have a roof over your head, 3 healthy children, and a wife who loves you. you are in a better situation than millions of other people on this planet. focus on positives.
RichardPencil 32
If being with your kids is an FML, you should have kept your dick in your pants, especially with Fertile Myrtle.
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Comments (6)
Jon Tessler 14
enjoy your birthday, take care of the kids, clean the house. face facts, you have a roof over your head, 3 healthy children, and a wife who loves you. you are in a better situation than millions of other people on this planet. focus on positives.
RichardPencil 32
If being with your kids is an FML, you should have kept your dick in your pants, especially with Fertile Myrtle.
IHaveThePower 18
Well, you get toddler hugs for birthday presents, so that's good. And you can always go out as a family tomorrow to celebrate--just because Sundays don't work for you doesn't mean you can't try Monday or any other day of the week. But seriously, toddler snuggles are the best birthday present, just wait until one of them gets sleepy and you'll have lots and lots of cuddles.
wrenavery90 12
Whoa. Do you seriously expect the world to stop because it's your birthday??
lexxiasaurus 31
she has bills to pay for your household bud. your kiddos you brought them into this world within that time frame, nothing to do with them. cleaning is a daily chore when you have a home and family you care about. the rain is perfect puddle splashing time, and finding worms, and interacting with your lovely children. set a date on the calendar this week to go out for your birthday, with just you and the wife. seeing your family and daily tasks as the issue is signs to need some professional help if you're burning out. communication is key