Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
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Top comments
cristy91 33
ki's can't keep a secret at that stage. Tell him "make sure you tell Grammy you love her because she likes to hear it." If he doesn't love grandma, convince him he does. If you have to buy him candy, tell him if anyone finds out, no candy.
Cinn_fml 23
Kids say all the things you don't want them to say. Which I'm fairly certain is a fact of life.
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Comments (45)
wiggz1990 0
well that sucks
kaprookie 3
I moderated this one. yerrrrr ****
guiltypleasure12 0
i don't think grandma grumpgrump would get offended by this, everyone bribes at times
DocBastard 40
I feel for you OP. I tried the same thing with my 3 year old, but she still ignored Grandma. Damn kids :)
time4coffee 3
This is not an FML more like MLIa- every kid in the word does this.
morganrules123 10
Ikr. Kids are jackasses sometimes.
Boygenius50 8
YDI!!!!! Who bribes kids, really? Great way to set an example, you fantastic parent you
turtlemansam 6
looks like candy can't buy love.
Epic_Phale615 0
morganrules123 well not all are :/ i help at a day care called head start and been sworn at by some 4 year olds. But thats only because of a lack of good parenting, some people just need to think twice about having kids. violence in school is still happening because kids have no motivation to get good grades and stay out of trouble.
linx468 8
Should've bought them after, as a surprise.
lolmigosh 15
He wouldnt have done it then.
DaphneLovesDerby 2
that never works lol
bigredmonkeybutt 30
I'd have done the same thing.
Cinn_fml 23
Kids say all the things you don't want them to say. Which I'm fairly certain is a fact of life.
cristy91 33
ki's can't keep a secret at that stage. Tell him "make sure you tell Grammy you love her because she likes to hear it." If he doesn't love grandma, convince him he does. If you have to buy him candy, tell him if anyone finds out, no candy.
time4coffee 3
Then he'll slip and say mom said I won't get candy if I don't say I love you. That's even then she knows you are bribing your kids. She had kids of her own. I'm sure she knows the drill
FFML_314 12
Does your mother smell really bad?
molil_4810 0
I like turtles
JustHereBecause 0
ahaha. am i the only one who wants to know what the grandma said?
monkeykiller77 0
never tell idiot kids stuff like that