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End of the road

By Anonymous - 02/04/2021 21:30

Today, I landed my dream job with an international company. I figured I could work this until retirement, only to find out they hired me to shut down operations in my market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 106

By Liz - 09/04/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 981

You deserved it 19 202

By Anonymous - 31/05/2014 07:24 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 740

You deserved it 4 068

By noonotme - 05/09/2010 21:51 - United States

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 502

You deserved it 6 668

Don't look for what you don't want to know

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 02:00

Today, I found out that my partner of 2 years has been lying to me and cheating on me from the beginning of our relationship. The worst part is I don’t know how to confront him because I found out by going through his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 1 171

Over the Rainbow Bridge

By Traumatized cat owner - 23/09/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, after two weeks of believing that my extremely sick cat had escaped the house and ran away to die, I uncovered his lifeless body while deep cleaning my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 362

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 093

You deserved it 5 049

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 121

Where is my mind?

By LAXsucks - 20/10/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I'd left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I'd left my phone on the hotel counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 980

You deserved it 36 872

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 14:00

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 1 305

Life comes at you hard

By OptimalPath - 28/09/2023 14:00

Today, I sold my Merc, which I bought 9 years ago to "commute in style." Since buying it, I had job in the City so it sat at in a car park, my child was born with a condition, I lost my job and couldn't find another for 3 years, the next one was in the City, then Covid and no commute, and now I work from home. I didn't ever get to drive it to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 303

Pranks should be outlawed

By hannah - 30/09/2023 04:00

Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 109

Oddly specific reference

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend whispered, “Grond will breach it” into my ear, all sexy like. I had no idea what he was on about, so when we were done screwing I looked it up. Grond is a battering ram from a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings that smashes a gate open. Just why? Nerd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 407

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 158

Cheer me up

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 04:00

Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 337

Fat chance

By Dave - 23/04/2012 13:22 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 662

You deserved it 22 069

By mybmw - 14/10/2009 10:39 - United States

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 4 441

Sweet talking

By ... - 21/04/2012 02:49 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 074

You deserved it 38 434

By Squishy - 22/08/2010 23:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 583

You deserved it 3 144

Repetition

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 00:00

Today, I introduced this website to my boyfriend. We laughed at a guy who screamed his sister's name during sex. Guess what he thought would be funny to do when I was seconds from coming? FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 1 210

Classic move

By Anon - 13/10/2023 04:00

Today, after being severely depressed for a week, I was having sex with my boyfriend when got so anxious that I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 170

Support needed

By Rick - 04/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Today, when I tried to talk about how I feel insecure, my fiancee ranted about how supportive she always is of me. Her idea of supportive is to say, "Oh, you'll be fine! You're amazing!", then get back on her phone or turn up the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 99

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 149

Didn't see that one coming

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 12:00

Today, as a prank my brother handcuffed me to the pole in the bus and ran out with my phone. The bus driver couldn’t hear me upstairs, so I was driven all the way to the end of the line, and without my phone I couldn’t even pay the fare for a return trip. I had to walk 7 miles home in heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 111

Cool cool cool

By Chris - 06/04/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 329

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 17:36 - United States

Today, seconds after my mom put my Yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 399

You deserved it 3 593

Angry man

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 06:00 - United States - Camden Wyoming

Today, I learned that now that my mom is dead, and my dad doesn't need my emotional support during her illness anymore, he's going to go back to insulting me every time he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 81

By flattire - 30/03/2009 01:14 - Canada

Today, two really hot guys pulled up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me and pointing down, and I figured they were being pigs so I flipped them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me about the flat tire I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 444

You deserved it 84 283

The more things change…

By J.O.S - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the '90s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 152

You deserved it 9 545

I bet you're fun at parties

By Cara - 02/05/2021 23:01

Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 288

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The Top

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 6 801

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 270

You deserved it 5 888

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 459

You deserved it 3 160

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 155

You deserved it 43 292

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 151

You deserved it 5 193

Today, I found out that the higher-ups aren’t letting us use the break room anymore, so guess it’s back to eating lunch in my car while it’s 100°F outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 137