Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Strong Kurt Cobain vibes
Today, I've done everything I wanted to do in life. I'm currently 27. Bored out of my fucking mind. Just call me bored. FML
Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML
Forever alone
Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Peak efficiency
Today, I got round to organizing my apartment, sorting everything into boxes and shelves. However, due to my arbitrary sorting method, I now can't find everyday things because they're not in their usual place (in a clutter on my desk), including the charger cable I used five minutes ago. My place looks organized. My life does not. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Please say twilight was at the least awesome end. Actually scrap that, please tell me you don't own twilight in DVD.
DocBastard 40
1) Trite story 2) Bad writing 3) Bad acting 4) Too much hype 5) Sparkling ******* vampires
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Comments (141)
marinus_fml 20
Please say twilight was at the least awesome end. Actually scrap that, please tell me you don't own twilight in DVD.
CareFace 16
Blu-Ray has HD vampire sparkles... I never thought "vampire" and "sparkles" would ever make it in a sentence together... -_-
airforce987 20
Scrap THAT, please tell me you've never even SEEN twilight.
JimmyDevotion 4
When twilight first came out I thought i'd check it out. I dont think I watched any more than 30 minutes due to the horrid acting of the female lead.
lilpowers 3
Hey #15, 14&1 what's wrong with a person reading or watching twilight?
BeefyQueef 5
24- What's right with a person watching twilight?
DrDilllonReese 12
24- absolutely nothing. People of all religious and ethnic backgrounds should agree that twilight is crap.
KeannaLove 32
#24- Everything is wrong with watching twilight. That movie never deserved to be played on the big screen.
traze 7
TWILIGHT ROCKS!!!!.......Give me five reason why it sucked...anyone?!...you with the hair...
DocBastard 40
1) Trite story 2) Bad writing 3) Bad acting 4) Too much hype 5) Sparkling ******* vampires
sportcrazychick4 7
The books are not bad but the movies just blow!! Lol so much better movies to see like Half Baked! :O
toelie 26
6) annoying characters, from passive Bella to the idealised, romanticised vampires 7) repetitive vocab (take away every 'smug' and 'icy' and there goes half the novel) 8) mention of a Catch-22 that isn't actually one (something like "If I choose Jacob I'll hurt Edward; if I choose Edward I can't see Jacob anymore. It was a Catch-22." No, it wasn't. It was just unfortunate.) 9) this bit: "He was so beautiful. He was so.. so.. beyond description." If you can't describe it, that's just bad writing.
Estapc 3
Need we go on??
traze 7
With a total gross of over two billion. It is obviously not a fail and those are personal opinions of to why it sucks. All movies are cliché....
DocBastard 40
Calling something "a fail" is a failure. Fail is a verb, not a noun. Just because people buy it doesn't make it good. People buy $1.5 billion-worth of Peeps every year and they're ******* disgusting.
traze 7
Again personal opinion...I LOVE PEEPS!!!...back on topic...why would someone buy or spend their money if they do not like it?! Your speaking for yourself and not for the mass....
Idonebeenhad 17
Twilight is like soccer, 2 hours of people running around with nobody scoring, and the millions of fans telling me I just don't get it.
IDontKnow10101 14
57 - Just because twilight made over 2 billion dollars does not mean it doesn't fail, it simply means a mass of people wasted money totaling over 2 billion dollars to see a shitty romantic vampire movie
The_Hitdude 12
^...And just like America is the only country who doesn't appreciate football, Stephenie Meyer and her drones are the only people who don't realize how bad Twilight is.
The_Hitdude 12
And I also read this somewhere, and it's true: Disney told a better love story in 4 minutes ['Up'] than Stephenie Meyer told in for book.
The_Hitdude 12
*four books
rapunzel3416 28
After reading this thread I forgot what the FML was about. Lol
traze 7
It's about "Twilight" being awesome and haters gonna hate...
missalkali 8
no it's not. that was what the thumbed down comments were about
mikeymayhem_87 15
5 reasons why Twilight sucks: 1: excessive homosexual suggestions 2: generic love story bordering on romantic comedy-type romance 3: doesn't follow vampire "tradition" even though they claim to, i.e. glittering instead of bursting into flames in sun. 4: gloomy and dreary mood and lighting throughout the whole movie would probably make it more depressing if I watched it. 5: it spawned a culture phenomenon that has turned thousands of people into annoying fan boys and girls that talk of only Twilight 24-7
ProhibitionRose 14
Twilight was complete crap. The movies were infinitely worse than the books because of terrible acting. If the facts that vampires sparkling wasn't bad enough, they got the worst actors ever to play the roles. Twilight is the Rebecca Black of movies and books.
SadDashie92 3
I've never seen Twilight and I'm proud to say that.
idontknowyou123 0
Crazy ex made me read and watch twilight and it just raped my childhood... I loved vampyre (or vampire) legends when I was a kid. A REAL vampyre: Dies in sunlight, Needs human blood to live, bites cause sickness then death then vampyrism, they can hypnotize, and they require permission to enter
idontknowyou123 0
Sorry for double post, accidently submitted it before I could finish... lousy computer ...to enter houses. I got this information from Nosferatu and Bram Stoker's Dracula...
Stu2DPot 10
-55- you could take away the word dark too, and that would be another third of the book gone.
ladyLALAA 29
I can't work out if Traze is trolling or not. Twlilight MAY have made 2 billion but I bet if all the people who DON'T endorse twilight were made to buy a copy there'd be much more then 2billion. Can't help kids with poor taste. And vampires DO NOT sparkle, get some Anne Rice in your book library! Now that is a vampire series!
Stu2DPot 10
You have seen Twilight, you helped her defeat discord Dashie!
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Wait, where is this homosexual suggestion you speak of? How did I miss that?
XtraEzeee 8
Wait, wait, wait, stop the presses! Doc, you don't like peeps?! They're delicious.
br0ccoli 15
55 - Omg #6 is one of my pet peeves. Ugh. Bella depended way too much on the vampire guy. I saw one movie and I wanted to shake her the whole time and tell her "he's not that cool!" I really hope girls don't think it's normal to seek approval from guys, going through all types of crap just to get him, thinking that she would die without him. Sounds like a recipe for getting into an abusive relationship. "you push me away, and emotionally scar me with your games, and you could kill me, but that doesn't matter because I want you! We are destined, our story is just like Twilight, so romantic!" WTF.
redtigerlily 5
Mentioning Twilight at opportunity is tired. Dead. Exhausted. Old. Move on.
lilpowers 3
All of you haters can go die for all I care. I happen to LIKE TWILIGHT! Is there anything wring with that?
dobbyisfreeeeeee 10
#24 No.
dobbyisfreeeeeee 10
#1 - My thoughts to the letter. Please marry me so we can bash Twilight for the rest of it's ridiculous, sparkly, crappy existence.
chels1994 11
^ all of you most likely just severely pissed off numerous twilight fans... love it (:
ellie12345678999 13
Awesome
ellie12345678999 13
100% true
toenibbler 14
Learn to play the guitar or something creative. It works for me.
ALlamaOnFire 20
So does toe nibbling:)
Matt504 9
62 - someone has a fetish
snowmount07 6
Go buy some more movies so you can meet more people
ThatSceneKid1313 9
If your life was a DVD it would be in the non-awesomest section.
C_A_M_E_R_O_N 0
I wish I had that much free time
Raccoo 10
Same here.
traze 7
Isn't being on here free time?!....
spekledworf 18
Not when you're on here during Math class... then it's just multitasking
traze 7
Yeah....1+1=3
biggestfan23 11
Maybe you should try and be social. And I'm not talking about Facebook or twitter
lilpowers 3
7 I live half an hour from any town. I also can't drive and a lot of the time my parents are working.
clauderah 5
Maybe he/she IS the OP?
Krirn 21
Nope, it would've said so below their comment, or you can check the top of the FML for the username, melonhead77 would be the OP in this case.
izackthegreat 1
Similar situation?
Goatinsfriend 8
Hang out with done friends.
Goatinsfriend 8
Some*.
RedPillSucks 33
I like my friends well done, thank you.
toelie 26
Your top DVD can't be that awesome if you chose this over watching it.
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
You only did that because YOUR awesome!
marinus_fml 20
His awesome WHAT?!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
My awesome what? Penis?
Doxy 22
Guess we are doomed to die of suspense.
dylanmurre 4
****** grammar nazis!!! Who the **** cares how he spelt it, last time I checked we We're on FML not English class.
shibbysgirl 4
^^^^ LOVE THIS ^^^^
RaquelW 7
72 - Did you make all those grammatical errors out of spite, or is thinking and typing at the same time beneath you?
missalkali 8
or we are gonna die of being a ******** and going nuts over every time someone uses your instead of you're (OMG THE WORLD IS GOING TO COME TO AN END!!! someone said your!!)
toelie 26
Actually, if they said it no one would realise the error.
NeDaroft 5
Not really an Fml , no one got hurt but movie producer feelings
THE_A_TEEN 28
The FML staff chose it. So yes it is. Take it up with them if you have a problem.