Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
Today, after weeks of my yelling, my boyfriend finally listened and got a hobby. Instead of getting into something sensible like martial arts, he chose tabletop gaming. Now I have to listen to hours of boring stories about pretend fantasy worlds, and admit to everyone that my boyfriend is a nerd. FML
Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's family. He calls his parents things like “geriatric hag” and “old clown”. I was about to yell at him, but they started calling him “nancy boy” and “nerd”. Apparently they love each other, but only communicate through abuse. I can’t believe I may soon marry into this mess. FML
Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML
Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML
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Top comments
dtbomb 3
I would say do it at that one river but you've probably never heard of it.
kikimonole 13
Oh dear. Another dumbass moron has been created! By that I mean your boyfriend. Ask SIRI! Seriously she (it?) gives you suggestions on where to hide a body.
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Comments (215)
kikimonole 13
Oh dear. Another dumbass moron has been created! By that I mean your boyfriend. Ask SIRI! Seriously she (it?) gives you suggestions on where to hide a body.
the_anti_hipster 7
RUN. RUN FAST. before your boyfriend does....you know, before it was cool.
killmoose 5
Buy 3-4 acres of land in a remote area, dig a 7 ft hole and put the body in with some Lyme. That land is still good for 30-40 more bodies!
linx468 8
#1, you're an ugly ****. Get the **** out before I ruin my PC with copious amounts of vomit.
TrollRoaster 0
Hello 911 there's a potential hipster muderer on FML, i believe it is a female. Ok i'll hold...
gc327072 31
Why was 22's comment moderated? Did he have a good way to do it or something?? O_o
RedPillSucks 33
Pigs.... Pigs will eat anything and have been successfully used to dispose of bodies (or so I've been told) No body, no murder
AussieChild 22
84- that's right, pigs are omnivores
SamanthaCassieL 10
Siri will tell you where local dumps, ravines, fields and sewers are. She's pretty good like that xD
Zedd_fml 8
Hydrochloric acid and plastic drum, DO NOT use bathtub.-Walter White.
BeforeItWasCool 12
I was a dumbass moron before it was cool! But now I come to think about it OP, when was Crüe ever hipster?
Manj3rico 3
She should just dump him and be done with it.
Dekarian 7
45 - It's not murder if it's a hipster.
starbucksguy 16
45 I'd say she's got several thousand witnesses who'll swear she was with them when the "murder" took place...
broseph_joseph 5
"Fine. I will put my 'yard trimmings' in a car compactor."-Fat Tony
twinkiefeets 17
I was thinking the same thing. Crüe is not nor will it ever be hipster. Thank god
gntfmlingnow 12
112 - I actually went to the comment section specifically to question why Mötley Crüe was referred to as hipster. Amazing band, I just saw them in concert recently with Kiss and they brought the house down. :D But yeah, thank you two for restoring a bit of my faith in the Crüe's fan base ^_^
GracesDelirium 9
Were you by any chance in San Antonio? I went to that concert. :D
SmokingUnicorn 8
Drop him in the mainstream
BeforeItWasCool 12
No problem 178, the Crüe are a legendary band. I don't understand OP's distaste
schalk 12
@ Redpillsucks : You need to pull the teeth - they don't digest
dtbomb 3
I would say do it at that one river but you've probably never heard of it.
Danny0522 8
How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the mainstream.
slimshadyfan123 4
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram
devilcb 5
Ask seri I'm sure she'll tell you
gc327072 31
96- Is seri like the knockoff android version of Siri?
PipingMouse 14
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his low-fat frappe before it was cool.
starbucksguy 16
130 nope...seri is the hipster form of Siri
starbucksguy 16
153 frappes are made from ice...
IOmnomHard 10
The more popular, and actually sense-making, version of that joke is--”How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate the pizza before it was cool.”
gc327072 31
154- that's probably why I've never heard of it.
Jeffo193 13
I have all of those things, except i really need the glasses and it's my natural accent :L
datgamerchick 14
You must be so cool.
Jeffo193 13
Not really, i just find it amusing how some people will go to such lengths to be different and end up not achieving it...
AlexxIV 3
I have the Crüe shirt as they rule. And like you I'm from England so yeah I talk like that too. OP smack the shit outta him
Drigr 9
Will someone explain how Crüe shirt makes you a hipster...?
shadexilmaendu 4
I'm with @93. Motley Crüe is way too popular to be considered hipster. If he starts listening to Pedro the Lion and bands you've never heard of before, then he's lost ;p
MisterMichael 9
You could always use the Breaking Bad method...although it is somewhat messy
drewcat21 0
Not if you get the plastic barrel and not use the bath tub!
MissIconic 8
His already brain-dead :0
DragonSlayer9022 3
His already brain-dead what?
icrest80 4
^his already brain dead penis
trixy81 10
He's.
starbucksguy 16
I think 6 is already brain-dead
lolmigosh 15
It's a sign that hipsters are taking over the world.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Hipsters can't take over the world. That's too mainstream.
PhishloverA 14
#7 so instead of a zombie apocalypse we're gonna have a hipster apocalypse?
Sandsh8rk 36
How is a British accent even attributed to the personality of a 'hipster'?
TheFirstSamurai 18
I'm British myself and I was thinking the exact same thing. Maybe because English was "originally" from England, I mean that's the only connection I can make with being a hipster and a British accent.
bioboy725 10
It's because it's a fake British accent and he's trying to be cool.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Hipsters have a British accent because they had it before it became cool
Ghostlyness 7
OP should take comfort from the fact that it's guaranteed he sounds like a muppet to anyone who's British. It's also worth mentioning there's no such thing as a 'British accent'. There are a myriad of accents within Britain and I promise you, he's not accurately imitating any of them.
Jeffo193 13
He's probably trying to do a Hugh Grant-esque mumble and failing miserably....
jem970 19
Actually English has German origins :)
ebonyirony 29
32- he probably sounds like dick van dyke.
chippa 24
88, what does that have to do with -anything?-
Sandsh8rk 36
Thanks for all of the responses guys. It looks like this guy will look more like a complete idiot than a hipster. But then again...all hipsters can be generalised as idiots.
twinkiefeets 17
88-Get a life
X_Codes 11
@88: No, it doesn't. English has a common ancestor with modern German, but English is a bastard language with a ***** mother and a half-dozen candidates for baby-daddy. If you needed to point to one language and name it as the absolute root of modern English, that language would probably be either Latin (from when the British Isles were occupied by Rome) or French (likely from the Renaissance, when everyone wanted to be a Frenchman for some reason).
angrymexican 8
179- I don't even know where to begin on your comment.
SanpakuEyes 18
Actually English is considered a Germanic language as opposed to Spanish or Italian which are considered Latin based.
chippa 24
Yes, English is Germanic, but German actually is one of the languages whose words are -least- donated to English. And again, this has nothing to do with anything.
Sandsh8rk 36
*He's
domking1315 20
I know you did not waste a comment space to say "*He's"
Sandsh8rk 36
I meant to reply to another comment, it stuffed up. Can a mod please delete it?
supportcommand 17
You should leave his body in a public place so all can see what will happen to hipsters.
gc327072 31
It would be on instagram.
guitar666God 12
Best idea of the year award goes to you sir!
icmandel 2
Today, my girlfriends transition into an over-analytical, uptight bitch is complete. It started when i got my first pair of prescription glasses and was really selfconcious about the frames, got worse when i had to start buying tshirts at discount stores because money is so tight and finished when i started acting out monty python to cheer her up. Im considering where im going to bang her sister!!
MissMess 12
Anyone else sick of these counter fmls on the comments all the time?
siickman 7
Sick of them, yes. Can they be ******* hilarious sometimes (key word sometimes), of course.